Thursday, December 30, 2010

in the beginning was the word

it has been an unforgettable year. a year i chose the word "soul" as my guide and my map. that word, that way, was everywhere for me.

it rose up with the unexpected and compelling need to better the lives of 4 stray cats. it revealed its breath-taking force of animation and its singular, unbending process of decision as i witnessed my grandmother's death. mostly, it revealed how under-wraps it has lived within me for 45 years. and it showed me, repeatedly, in no uncertain way, what i had to do and concede to make it more visible and allow it to breathe more life into my life.

for what felt like great stretches of time, this has been an emotionally difficult year. so many of my ridiculous defenses had to be smashed to bits. from misunderstandings while visiting the cusp of asia, to an army of fleas that forced a level of attention to cleaning i'd rather never repeat, to assessing boundaries, to too much cancer in my family, to the december car accident that flat-bedded my car off into the dark, to the truth and the larger truth and the unbending trust in myself.

i do not mistake an emotionally difficult year with a bad one. it has, instead, been a good and  powerful year. a decade of lessons was compressed into 12 short months. i consider myself fortunate.

and so, with my soul fortified and leanings toward more visibility, i peer ahead to twenty eleven. it will be another good year. with great care and understanding of the force unleashed in adopting a word-map to guide me forward, i choose a new word.

actually, i choose two.

in twenty eleven, i choose joy and i choose family. plans are already in the works for the regular invocation of joy, and concentrated care for my mother's continuing journey with cancer. as well, i will let the idea of family expand and fill my heart. i will let myself be surprised. i will let myself be warmed and welcomed and safe.

for you, what ever helps you to know yourself more deeply and more compassionately is what i wish for your year ahead. trust your instincts. be brave. laugh at yourself. and sleep well.


  1. Sue Lukaszewski12/30/2010

    you amaze me!!! Happy New Year:)

  2. graciel - i smiled as i read parts of this, and felt my heart grow full as i read other parts. i hadn't heard of the car accident - your new car?

    "i do not mistake an emotionally difficult year with a bad one." the truth, the truth, the truth. the truth.

    joy. family. these words bode well. it will be a good year.

    and i promise to laugh at myself.

    happy happy new year!!


  3. two wonderful words. it has been a year for you, and you have made it through with hope still there in your voice.
    sorry about your car...ugh. looking forward to getting to know you even better in the year ahead.

  4. Wishing you well, Graciel. Happy New Year to you!

  5. And souls will guide you my friend. What a wonderful word you choose.
    Be happy and my you feel your true beloved soul all year round deep and profound.
    Hugs Dagmar
    ps until may my friend.

  6. oh lovely lady, i am wishing you a year of unlimited joy and family happiness!

  7. Dear Graciel...your writing is always so moving and affecting. I so admire how you navigate all, with your warrior-spirit and how you are able to put it all into words!

    Sending you heartfelt Best Wishes for this New Year to be Happy and Healthy and Joyful!!

    Much hugs, Jane x


I always appreciate the time you take to comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by. Peace from my heart to yours. xo, Graciel