Happy Week, Day 6

Happy Week, Day 6

My goal in life is not to be famous or wealthy or even an entrepreneurial success. My goal is so much more simple and anonymous than all that. My goal is to be happy. Not giddy, laugh-out-loud happy, but a sweetly simmering river of inner contentment kind of happy. The kind that stays with me for long, long moments, that turn into hours, that turn into days on end. The kind of contentment that will string together my life as one I can look back on and say truthfully, "it was so very, very good and beautiful, even in its most difficult hours".

But it has been elusive, that contentment that lasts. Disappointments, agitations, frustrations and apathy, the daily bombardment of self-criticism that can disguise itself as criticism of others, the tiredness from giving it all away, leaves precious little room for peace within, to say nothing of unchecked joy. I want unchecked joy.

In order to reach my goal, I must lay down the outmoded and unnecessary thoughts and behaviors that shrivel the moist pleasures of happiness. I must choose to grow up. For in the arena of pure adulthood, where gossip is dead and victimhood is a lie and self-deprecation is a mortal sin, in that arena is the heart of the child who knows that play and appreciation and unfettered love are the only roads to happiness. Especially happiness that lasts.

In choosing to grow up, I choose happiness. In choosing to stop the judgements, I choose happiness. In choosing to love myself without condition (and please, God, I need help with this one), I. choose. happiness.

{To catch some happy vibes, click on the link at the top of the post.}

The hummingbird, pictured above at my friend's feeder, is metaphysically known as the "joy bird".