Saturday, August 22, 2009

Happy Week, Day 6


Happy Week, Day 6

My goal in life is not to be famous or wealthy or even an entrepreneurial success. My goal is so much more simple and anonymous than all that. My goal is to be happy. Not giddy, laugh-out-loud happy, but a sweetly simmering river of inner contentment kind of happy. The kind that stays with me for long, long moments, that turn into hours, that turn into days on end. The kind of contentment that will string together my life as one I can look back on and say truthfully, "it was so very, very good and beautiful, even in its most difficult hours".

But it has been elusive, that contentment that lasts. Disappointments, agitations, frustrations and apathy, the daily bombardment of self-criticism that can disguise itself as criticism of others, the tiredness from giving it all away, leaves precious little room for peace within, to say nothing of unchecked joy. I want unchecked joy.

In order to reach my goal, I must lay down the outmoded and unnecessary thoughts and behaviors that shrivel the moist pleasures of happiness. I must choose to grow up. For in the arena of pure adulthood, where gossip is dead and victimhood is a lie and self-deprecation is a mortal sin, in that arena is the heart of the child who knows that play and appreciation and unfettered love are the only roads to happiness. Especially happiness that lasts.

In choosing to grow up, I choose happiness. In choosing to stop the judgements, I choose happiness. In choosing to love myself without condition (and please, God, I need help with this one), I. choose. happiness.

{To catch some happy vibes, click on the link at the top of the post.}

The hummingbird, pictured above at my friend's feeder, is metaphysically known as the "joy bird".

9 comments:

  1. I think this is something we all long for, Graciel. It is elusive for me as well, but that doesn't keep me from continuing to strive towards that feeling. Wishing you joy. :)

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  2. I too am making that choice Graciel. It's a "process" and there are there many times a day that I forget but I always eventually make my way back to that choice and I'm anticipating that ONE DAY, it will just a permanent place for me.

    I didn't realize that the hummingbird is called the joy bird...perhaps that's why I'm so attracted to them!

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  3. Oh when you find happyness please send some over. I'm desperate for it right now. Can't find it anywere these days. But reading about your happynes makes me smile so there might be sliding some into my life right now. Hugs Dagmar

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  4. I have found that it is the exact PURSUIT of said happiness that brings the unhappiness. It is hard to except that reality is ever changing and that our idea of what happiness SHOULD be doesn't include the ebbing and flowing of life. Happiness lies in recognizing the tides for what they are and what we can bring to ourselves from them. They are gifts.

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  5. Hi Graciel,

    Thank you so much for your caring words. I'm crying all over again reading your words. Yes I know she's been taking care off (I've already 'spoken' to her), but it doens't make it easier at this moment. Even if I am blessed with the abbility to see and talk to her again. But I'll get there. It just takes time.

    It's great to see you care so much for me, I can feel it right now and take it with me during the hard evenings and nights.
    Bless you Dagmar

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  6. Happiness is the perfect goal.
    Darling wee pictures.

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  7. Wonderful!

    I'm right there with you!

    And I think it would make you VERY HAPPY to come visit me in Dayton, Ohio :-D

    This posts makes me miss you. Sigh.

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  8. Hummingbirds have been such a presence in my life this summer. I'm fascinated by the thrumming of the wings, by the way they can fly in so many different directions. I can never capture them in a photo. These are great shots.

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I always appreciate the time you take to comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by. Peace from my heart to yours. xo, Graciel