Thursday, July 15, 2010
finding the current reflection
in the heat and the clutter and the where-did-they-come-from fleas, a new life is being forged. the old life, the inertia, the sorry-i'm-too-exhausted-to-participate-but-thanks-for-asking response is being vacuumed up, put to the curb and traded in for better.
what lies behind and under the leftovers of former dreams and unfulfilled efforts? what, more precisely who, am i without the totes of vintage hats, grateful dead bootlegs, art supplies, years of smithsonian magazines, and reams of torn-out, unused recipes stuffed in a drawer? who am i if i step aside from the unconscious clutter and attachment to mementos of all my former selves? who am i in the midst of a pared down, second-hand free, keep only things that reflect my current state of being environment? i plan to find out.
with high hopes and enthusiasm, i am lightening my load. ruthlessness is now the path to my true inner nourishment, my understanding of what-in-the-hell has meaning to me at this stage of my life.
the garbage men will hate me in the morning, the car salesman will be my new best friend tomorrow night, the salvation army will love me next week. i have felt somewhat lost. i am purging to be found.