When plans are made to invoke change and effort is expended to create the path that leads to change and your fridge is fully loaded with images of a more glorious version of yourself, beware. Turmoil cometh.
Yes, indeed, the path to a better, more true-to-you life is slippery, unclear and sometimes painful. The level of pain depends on how far removed your dream life is from your present life. If the gap is large, lessons and opportunities will crop up to move your brain from its current way of approaching life ( the approach you say you're ready to ditch) to a more open, accepting and elevated one. The new approach, or new way of thinking, is what will lead you to the threshold of your wished-for change. You will likely arrive on that threshold feeling bruised, exhausted and weaker than expected. But, you will arrive.
Until you arrive at the moment when your old life dissolves and morphs into the glory you've imagined, do your best to be patient with yourself. Don't push the river, but do act on the nudges and shoves dictated by the Universe. Rest. Nest. Eat to the best of your ability. Do not give up.
Even if you feel like crap, know that positive change is occurring. Resistance will come from within and without. It means you're moving beyond the status quo that was your life. It means your brain is shifting to accept the life you know you deserve. Let the shift take as long as it naturally takes. Fame and acclaim and new levels of love feel ominous to your formerly small-minded self.
Learn what needs to be learned. Let go of what holds you back. Praise yourself for your fortitude and strength. Be patient. You will arrive.
Dear God, I read this post almost not breathing, it felt so directed at me. Turmoil does indeed cometh and putting one foot in front of the other day after day seems too much effort. Ahhh, these growing pains, these attempts to push the river when it will flow where it flows (after all, it lives in Mombasa, let us not forget, and all the dams in the world will not stop it and we cannot control it).
ReplyDelete"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I daresay he would include women in that.
xoxo
Debi
Graciel you seem to be going through so much. The overall message here seems to be to ignore any self-imposed roadblocks. Thank you, I shall do just that!! Love you. xo
ReplyDeleteWe all need these reminders. When the change seems most difficult is, indeed, when the shift is occurring. Letting go can be so hard at times but if we do as you remind us, "Don't push the river, but do act on the nudges and shoves dictated by the Universe," we grow in so many ways. "Do not give up." Wow! I needed that!
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for awhile and you always put into words, quite eloquently, feelings and thoughts that many of us have as we prepare to make changes in our lives. I am preparing to make a huge change in my life - I am moving to Istanbul actually - (I think that is how I found your blog - by searching Istanbul. Anyway...) and I find that you often express so well in words what's going on in my head.
Thank you for sharing. It's always important to know that we are all the same and dealing with similar things!
Kathryn
Dear Kathryn,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a lovely comment. I agree, we are all in this together and so often feel such similar things. Your mention of Istanbul, naturally grabbed my attention! You're moving there? When? Asian side or European side? And from where are you moving? (Just a few of my numerous questions...)
If you see this and have time, please send me an email to tell me your tale: evenstarart@gmail.com.
xo, Graciel
i loved the "plotting happiness" post that disappeared. i could see it in my reader. :-)
ReplyDeletei think that it's not so much the arriving at change as the process itself. you should read cavafy's poem ithaca. i think it will speak to you.
wow, this was a great massage. So true and so well written. thanks
ReplyDeleteJust what I needed to read this morning. Thank you.
ReplyDelete