Sunday, September 10, 2006
My middle name is Polly Anna. Sometimes I hold out hope for the highest good to emerge when it is clear the ship has sunk. Sometimes I hold on to things beyond their designated usefulness. Sometimes I'm still looking for signs of life at the funeral. Sometimes I have a challenge letting go.
Whether I'm holding on to people or emotions or things, the holding on has the illusion of somehow serving me. Of somehow benefiting me. Of somehow supporting me. Or I wouldn't be holding on or holding out hope when they're already salvaging wreckage.
Sometimes being unable to easily let go of people or emotions or things, when they have clearly passed their expiration date in my life, comes from the misinformed notion that I am not complete or safe or supported without that entity. That all on my own, naked before God, I am inherently lacking. That I am vulnerable. That I cannot support myself physically or emotionally or spiritually.
Luckily, the Universe knows precisely when to pull Polly Anna from the stage. It knows, in Its infinite wisdom, when it's time for me to let go and move on. When it's time for me to reaquaint myself with my own inner strength. It first gives me the option to let go easily. If I resist and insist that my ideas and illusions about the person or emotion or thing are still protecting and supporting me, life gets difficult. In the end, resistance is futile. Because the Universe is on a schedule. And my physical, emotional and spiritual growth is part of that schedule. Change is growth and letting go is the only way to change.
The amazing thing is, when I have made the decision to let go of the person or emotion or thing, my life catapults forward. My life becomes more and less. More open. More joyful. More filled with possibilities. And less burdened. When my Polly Anna can let the ship sink and cry at the funeral, I return to knowing my connection to God is my inner strength. My connection to God is all I need to be complete and safe and supported.