last year, 12~24
My Queen of Christmas is gone.
This was her beloved time of year.
She excelled in creating beauty,
comfort and joy for all in her realm.
The cookies, the stollen, the exquisitely
wrapped and thoughtful gifts.
The advent calendar and wreath.
The Santa collection and real candles on her tree.
I hardly know what to do this year.
I wander between wanting to forget Christmas entirely,
to imitating her ways in her honor,
to finding my own style of celebrating.
And so, I am here.
A little sad.
Finding my way forward in this
first advent season without her.
I am giving myself a little window to open each day,
hoping for a breath of renewal,
and starshine to light my way.