Monday, May 03, 2010

white fire


there is a weight and a radiant fire on my left hand. i look at it constantly, marveling at the twinkle of colors that flash with the slightest movement. at times, i remove the fire and lay it down on the nearest surface. i wonder and i doubt if i am truly ready for the joys and the burdens of its symbol. i look at it laying on the desk or the nightstand or my skirted knee and i quickly reach out for its weight and slip it back on.

it is so small and so much larger than me. i do not yet understand who i am while wearing white fire. i confess i do not think i am strong enough for the task of constant compromise and adaptation, being leashed and unleashed all at once. my fears seek to consume me.

but he loves me.

fiercely, truly, exceptionally. even when i am afraid.

and my heart, long, long before a weight ever graced my left hand, decided he was worth the risk.

the risk of losing my small self utterly and completely.
the risk of discovering new purpose in caring for another.
the risk of  casting off fear to, instead,
be consumed by the white fire of love.

14 comments:

  1. Graciel! I am covered in goosebumps for you!!!!!!!!!

    MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE and happiness and bliss and beauty to you! :)

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  2. Yowza!

    My heart beat stronger and faster just reading your post!!!

    This is amazing and beautiful beyond words!

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  3. Anonymous5/03/2010

    How wonderful for you! You are so eloquent is expressing your hoped, dreams, and fears. Beautiful, beautiful...
    Cathy

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  4. WHAT!! WOW!!! I am so so so happy for you!! Congratulations my faraway friend. I can't wait to read the book you'd write about this adventure, because you do realize your story is exceptional and would also make a sweeping, emotional romantic drama that we would all love to see on the big screen.

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  5. !!!!! you have me in tears, sweet graciel. "it is so small and so much larger than me" - i can so understand, and understand all your questions and fears and joys. i have never worn another's ring, it has always been that serious and sacred and scary to me ~ but now you will tell me how it feels. you will take that powerful step into that white fire. i am so, so happy for you!

    xoxoxo + extra smooches!
    Debi

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  6. wow - I too am covered with goose bumps. this is incredibly powerful and peaceful and feels so right. congratulations to both of you.
    cheers.
    Christine

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  7. amazing news! i am so happy for you!!!!

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  8. I know a second comment on the same post is a bit much but I went back to some of your earlier entries about needing balance and making room for love in your life. The arc is breathtaking, you made room to receive all these things and here you are in the bounty of it.
    Enjoy....
    Christine

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  9. oh you! congratulations! and what a beautiful beautiful way to say what you have just said and yes, it is scary, but i am guessing that as he loves you, then you love him a thousand times over and the fear and the compromise will feel like nothing, nothing at all compared to that white fire...

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  10. Oh Holy Sweetness! I'm so thrilled for you both. Blessings and huge hugs as you move forward together on this amazing journey.

    x...x (that's kisses on both cheeks!)

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  11. Congratulations! I wish you peace and love xoxox

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  12. Oh golly! I'm grinning so big right now. Such exciting news!! Congratulations and best wishes. I'm so happy for you, dear Graciel. :-)

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  13. Uhhh..mmmm.. shoot darn the english language....what's a white fire....goossshhh. I'm a goof I think i know what it is...is it is it an angagement ring of some sort...Okay put me out of my misery and explain please.

    If so, congrats lady friend.
    Talk soon. Warmest hugs Dagmar

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  14. Wow! I'm sooo behind the times here...big big congratulations to you both!!

    You have a brilliant way with words Graciel...I wish you every happiness, and blessings you deserve it.

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I always appreciate the time you take to comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by. Peace from my heart to yours. xo, Graciel