Double 4

There was a time I detested my birthday. There was a time, on the cusp of 35, I was deeply depressed. I used to hold my birthday as a barometer of where I had not gone, what I had not achieved, and how off base my life was from that of societal norms. It was all I could do to hold my head above water while waiting for November 5th to pass. It's November 5th, 2008. I detest my birthday no longer.

Like my reblooming orchid, which once had 2 spectacular stems of flowers, and neat, compact roots, I find myself leaning off to the side. I have less blooms than I once did. I have wayward roots bent on seeing how far I can stretch beyond my formerly compact world. I have more leaves to take in more light. I am growing in a less structured way. I am doing my own thing. I am more interesting than I was.

So today, on my 44th birthday, a big rat's ass to societal norms. I am not irrelevant. I am not past my prime. I have work to do in this world: service to others, healing, creating beauty, offering compassion. I have finally learned to appreciate the beat of that different drummer I have heard my whole life. I choose to torment myself no longer.

Instead, I will eat cake. I will embrace the audacity of hope. I will ask God for the grace to do and say and not say what is in Its highest plan for me and those I cherish. I will express gratitude for the amazing people who bless my life. I will keep it simple. I will choose love.

p.s. And how's this for an lovely Universal gift? ~as I turned 44, I watched the gracious and dignified 44th President-Elect bring me to tears with his acceptance speech.