stress management

with apologies to anyone within earshot of me,

 i can't seem to help myself.

stress management has taken on a life of its own. 

i can't stop swearing.

and it isn't the polite form of swearing in public

like,"oh, crap" and the occasional "dammit".

no, it's the drunken truck-driving sailor type.

the kind that can get me fired and

in a heap of trouble in an instant,

especially if mothers are easily offended.

i can't seem to help it.

i'm sorry.

but it feels really, really good.

it's hard to say if the amish were aghast

 at my mouth the other day.

but they should have been,

what with all  the profanity being spewed

every time i let the perfect photo dissolve into oblivion.

lisa, my amish-country companion,

seemed to appreciate my tirades of expletives,

even as she was advising me to swear more quietly,

lest we be barred from following the amish trail ever again.

all the swearing led to the laughing that completely

renewed our brains from the enhanced oxygen intake.

and any stress that either of us had felt for,

oh, the past year, was relieved.

so, forgive me. 

plug your ears.

in the world of stress management,

swearing is the new meditation.