Devotion

They are everywhere for me. Young, red-coated female deer. They run in broad daylight along hedges and tree lines and open fields. They approach roadways in rush hour traffic. They are displaced by their mothers who have new souls to tend. They are searching. Searching with wide eyes and confusion on just where to go in this world. Searching for new territory to call home.

They are everywhere, these rusty deer, but soon, hopefully soon, they will be somewhere safe and welcoming. Somewhere with wood and field, shelter and food to devote the business of their lives to. I search with them. I search for safe territory to offer my devotion, to feel safe and welcomed in this life.

I have felt long moments of safety and belonging in the conventional cloisters of family and friends and lovers and work. It is those moments in between when safety and belonging seem to vanish that send me searching for true home territory. I long for steadfast devotion. As ever, I am reminded to look within, to look around and to look up.

Home territory, the devotional respite for my heart and soul, is not a place. It is an energy. A knowingness. An unshakable faith. It is love. It is God. And though it is not a place, I have set a place to remind me it always exists. I have set an altar in my home. Multi and non-denominational all at once, with statues and pictures and flowers and feathers. A place to kneel and pray and calm my confusions. A place to remember I cannot be displaced. For the energy of love, God's love, is always devoted to me.