Around all the busyness of my summer season, I am spending time in contemplation. I am carefully considering nothing less than the rest of my life. What would I like it to be, to look like, to feel like, this forthcoming rest of my life? What will I choose to be doing? How will I choose to expend my energy? How will I choose to give back to the world in gratitude for all the gifts I received in the first half of my life? It's alot to think about and I'm taking my time. I felt there was no order, no real plan for the first half of my time here on heaven's earth. There were too many shocks and too much wandering from one thing to another. Amid the beautiful moments and belly laughs, I could never seem to carve out a true place to call home. Within and without. Peace and fulfillment have been scarce. But now it's the time of my season to understand, myself to myself, what brings me peace and what offers fulfillment. It's time to understand the deepest callings of my soul and pledge to make them manifest.
So, I'm listening. And taking notes. And creating a visual journal on the door of my fridge. I'm not in a hurry, maybe for the first time in my life. Careful consideration is by it's very nature, slow. For now, slow is good. Realizations and proper plans will come in the time I can accept and embrace them. When that time comes, and for the rest of my life, I will call myself home.
Wow.
ReplyDeleteWell said!
You and I are indeed at very similar places in our lives. It's that kind of summer/year for me, too.
See you soon :-)
excellent questions to ponder on.
ReplyDeleteContemplation about values, direction and purpose is one of the many blessings of reaching maturity. I'm finding that as I have more time behind me than in front of me, there's a sense of urgency for me to live each moment conciously and fully. As always, great post Graciel.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding myself asking similar questions. For me this introspective soul searching has been triggered by my pregnancy. I feel as if my time of drifting along with the current has come to an end. I can't continue searching aimlessly, instead I have to embrace my true self and live authentically so that I can in turn help my future child find their unique path in life as well. Does that sound corny? Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones ;).
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the time that is laying out there waiting just for you.
ReplyDeleteBe well, sweet hugs from me.
Dagmar
I think it does take time to figure out who you are and who you want to be. We are all continually growing and changing.
ReplyDeleteOh Graciel, you made me blush. Thanks for the sweet words on my blog. It seems people look so diffent to one another than you do yourself. But the inside part to me is the most valuable.
ReplyDeleteFrom my blessed heart to yours I'm sending over love and laughs.
I hear you sister. I'm in the same place. I'm not sure I'm as comfortable with it as you. I have a weird feeling of slight discontent that I can't get a handle on or even identify for that matter. your words have given me much food for thought. who do I want to be?
ReplyDeletexo.