








There is no happiness but that which I create for myself. There is no happiness that some one can bring to me that will last. I must lay happiness down at my own feet. I must embed it in my own heart. I must build that foundation for myself. If it is not built with my own toil and blood and beautiful thoughts, it is merely a foundation of shifting sand, sure to turn quick or blow grit in my eyes. Happiness is the work and the making and the choice of my own.
Having forgotten this wisdom, I find myself in an empty field, late winter snowflakes showering down. It is not where I thought I would be. It is not what I thought I asked for, wished for, or visualized. But here I am. Less than warm, empty hands, blue mist shrouding my brain.
And so, I have a choice. Remain suspended and cold, or look closely at the beauty of the field I stand in. Stop looking beyond or behind this field and see where my feet are standing now. Lay happiness down in the snow-covered grass. Take my empty hands and press them together over my heart. Embed love and prayers. For me. I have the choice to stand in my field, dissolving blue mist and snow with beautiful thoughts, with happy thoughts, knowing spring will come.


I'm a big fan of little things. Little gestures. Little kindnesses. Little gifts of the heart. Big gestures certainly have their time and place and needfulness, but it's the little offerings that speak to me at full volume. That widen my smile. That supply more oxygen on the in-breath and keep love flowing. The other night, amid a simple gathering of 6 friends and myself, I was filled to the brim with little gestures and gifts. David, a master bread maker who uses only organic ingredients, served his artisan Kalamata olive loaf. Warm. I swooned at the first bite. It was the singular best bread I had ever eaten. Smeared with soft cheeses, it almost liquefied me off my chair. While I was swooning and chewing, David was in his kitchen making homemade gourmet pizzas. Naturally, anyone whose art is bread making has a pizza oven in their garage. The caramelized onion and goat cheese wedge I devoured defied proper adulation. All I could come up with between bites was, "oh, my God". Then Sue, the Confection Contessa, served up her from-scratch chocolate cupcakes and it was all over for me. They were heaven in a pastel paper wrapper. Other recent kindnesses include a Buddha head that showed up between my doors one snowy day and has since become the favorite in my collection. A pack of Wizard of Oz bookmarks in my mailbox. A link to a Yvonne Elliman video on YouTube. A response to a comment I left on a blog.