this is how it begins

i have no resolutions. i barely have a concept of what to do next. simply going with the flow and a consideration of faint impulse is all i care to manage.

there was a scrumptious dinner with dad for his new year's eve birthday, peppermint cheesecake for dessert (1 slice, 1 candle, 2 forks) and a soft pink t-shirt for bed. then the sudden impulse.

make an altar to welcome in the new year. fill it with things of meaning, of wish, of possible direction. turn on the night light and keep the altar lit throughout the night. oh, wait. even better, keep a lamp lit all night in the living room, the living room, to infuse the new year with light.

then, the word. the one i had no intention of choosing for twenty thirteen, but impulse shone through and i could not deny its cleverness. i did not choose it, it was given to me, this word, this umbrella edict for the year my mother will never see. clearly, distinctly it was light. then came the tag~line:

live it,

invoke it,

accept it

and

spread it.

midnight came, i sat on the floor of my bedroom and watched out my window as jubilant light filled the sky.