There is no explaining grief.
But I will say it has gotten more difficult as the weeks go by,
as the void reveals itself and the chasm to be crossed, vast.
For me, everything has changed.
I was not expecting this.
I do know the happiness of her children is what will help her
find peace in her world made new.
And so, there are waters to navigate.
Old skins to shed.
Previously unimaginable choices to be made.
I wonder if a new freedom and new shades of orange wait on the further shore.
I wonder if I am already there in some form,
waiting with tulips and jonquils to lay at my unshod feet.
YES!!!! Move forward, you must! Time to explore life's many options...
ReplyDeleteyou go, girl!
XOXO
you are a different person now. those old skins will shed. and the water to be crossed is deep. you will learn to steer by your heartbeats, and those heartbeats will remind you are alive, that you are loved, that you have loved, that you still love.
ReplyDeletei know this.
xoxo
how can we ever know what to expect when it comes to something that will only happen to us once?
ReplyDeleted talked about orange just the other day on her blog (which made me think of you) and i told her "orange is everywhere here, and mostly, it is my least favorite color. but i sit before the fire, and i realize that is all wrong, it is a wonderful color. the color of life. of fire, of sunrise, of always, new beginnings."
so yes, i think there are new shades of this color ahead for you. and i am glad that this is an especially brilliant autumn, so that you may find some of them just outside your window, and some of her in those leaves that flutter gently to the ground.
xoxo