Monday, September 10, 2007

The Season Of Yoga For One

Today I felt like a celebrity. I had signed up for yoga classes at a new studio nearby. I arrived at the agreed upon time with my blue mat and bottled water, ready to join a group of fellow students in search of grounding and inner peace. 10 minutes past the agreed upon time, no one else had come. I was alone with the instructor. The Universe had set me up to have a private yoga lesson. Swallowing my awkwardness, I spread out my mat, faced the woman I had only just met and followed her lead. Only the rich and famous have private lessons, I mused to myself. Since I'm far from famous, I decided I must be rich inside.

At the end of almost 2 hours of private instruction, I was richer inside than I had been upon waking. My understanding of the discipline and practice of yoga skyrocketed with each adjustment she helped me make and each side-by-side example she demonstrated. My downward facing dog and my hands-free baby cobra are darn close to perfect now.

As I left the studio, stretched and strengthened, I realized how much I've been doing alone. I realized this has been quite the solitary year, by choice and by chance. And I will admit, some days of solitude and solo practice have been lonely. My zest for group gatherings and company in general has waned. My social mojo has seemingly deflated. Some days this concerns me. Some days I wonder what happened to my zest and my zeal for social engagement. My need and delight in activities with others. My joy in intellectual conversation and stupid humor.

The knowing part of myself, the wise part of myself is, however, not concerned at all. This wise woman within me knows there are seasons. Seasons in nature and seasons in the life of every human animal. This is my season of solitude. This is my season of receiving private instruction from the Universe at large. Because one on one instruction is so much more effective in getting a lesson across. So much more effective for bone-deep, soul-deep, never-forget-this understanding. So much more effective for cementing trust in one's self.

In my season of solitude, God has come closer. Intuition is easier to act on. My need for approval is dying. And my question of what do I really want has a decent chance of finally being answered.

I'm growing rich inside in my season of solitude, my season of concentrated growth. When the next season comes, as it surely will, I will meet it with greater trust and greater strength. I will meet it with less doubt and more ability to welcome and embrace the harvest.

5 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness...how I do envy you for being able to last two hours on your first visit. I would have to be hospitilized...LOL!!! And I love your roses...although, I must admit that I am jealous a wee bit. We had terrible weather this spring and all summer and I lost 2 bushes completely and never did get a really good cut for a lovely bouqouet. Thanks for sharing~Jackie:)

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  2. beautiful post! you are making me crave yoga. something i've been away from for far too long but thing of every day!
    good for you!!!!!!!!!
    thanks for the inspiration.
    c

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  3. Hi! I stumbled across your blog and thought you might want to participate in an interactive illustration project I'm working on. Check it out here: http://peopleinchairs.livejournal.com/

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  4. seeker19/15/2007

    gracie:

    Thanks for writing this.

    I was able to see the studio, feel the exercise and experience the inner soul searching.

    Okay, so I'm not a literary critic, but I loved it.

    roy

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  5. I've been reading and reading this...coming here..leaving..thinking about what you wrote...wanting to say something but not having quite the right words...

    Because this year has been dowright exactly like yours in the aspect of socialization. I quit my job as a teacher last year...moved to another place..left friends from there....trying to freelance as a communications trainor....I'm not used to being without a lot of people around me till this year...

    And I question myself too if this is good..and I also come up with the same answers..that there is a season for everything...

    I guess what I'm saying is that...it makes me settled to read that there is somebody else from sooo very far from me who is going through the same discoveries too...

    and as you said...it helps in cementing trust in one's self...

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I always appreciate the time you take to comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by. Peace from my heart to yours. xo, Graciel