Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Empty Heart


To be filled, something must first be emptied. A bucket, a bath tub, a bank account, a heart. Nothing truly fresh and fulfilling can flow into an already full space. Especially if the space is mired in stale energy, standing water, or stifling thoughts. Measures must be taken to dump, pour out and empty the vessel of all that stands in the way of new vibrations, new abundance and higher levels of happiness.

A bucket and a bath tub are fairly easy vessels to clear out. A bank account, less easy, if a fresh supply of abundance is not waiting directly in the wings. A heart, less easy still, depending on the length of years it has beat and the traumas it has endured. But the heart is the most needful of all vessels to be emptied, if Life is to continuously offer up its jewels and its succulence. A full heart can no longer take in additional Life. A full heart can no longer take in a finer quality of air. A full heart can no longer recognize uncommon opportunities for love.

The dumping, pouring out and emptying of the heart is messy. Wet. Painful. Exhausting. Seemingly endless once the process has begun. Old thoughts, stubborn obsessions, magician's cloaks, crappy attitudes, stale resentments, refuse of pity-parties, molehills of doubts and soul-shrinking curses against the self are dredged up from the bottom of the vessel. Laid out in all their putrid splendor. Fingered and tasted for current viability. And one by one, by slowly painful one, deemed unfit for further consumption, consideration or space in the vault.

As the heart is emptied, detachment drifts in. As things and people and once-clutched memories are released to the ethers, judgement takes a back seat and impartiality takes the wheel. The more the heart is emptied of its stale view of Life, the more detachment settles in. Until one moment, one brief moment in the process of dumping and pouring, the needle on the gauge swings completely to the left and the heart is rendered empty.

In that brief moment, reached only through wet and mess, a doorway appears. The doorway does not beckon, does not call, does not entice. It merely stands open and allows the heart to understand, if that thresh hold was crossed, if all that was once clung to was left behind, the soul-aspect of the heart, the aspect that never dies, would be okay. It would be happy and free and loved and safe. Everything would be okay.

In the fullness of understanding, in the fullness of complete emptiness, the doorway closes. Calmness drifts in. Somewhere in the background a bell choir strikes a note. A singular peel that echoes and swells into multiple bells and ushers in new vibrations. The heart begins to fill itself, in an unhurried manner, with new abundance. The heart begins to breathe a more refined quality of air. The heart begins to fill itself, in an unhurried manner, with a deeper, more succulent level of Life.

3 comments:

  1. So eloquent your words! So beautiful the images that come to mind!
    Thanks for sharing!
    Be Blessed,
    Robin

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  2. Sometimes when I come here, I feel like you've written just for me. I know this is not true. But that is the mark of a truly great writer. I know you are connected to my heart and know the struggles. I will write privately and catch up soon SF-G. We have a visit to plan too! :-)

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  3. I'm trying to have a healthy sense of detachment...knowing that what I have around me isn't truly going to be with me for long..because yep'..everything is in a stage of trans-formation.

    On the other hand, I try to check myself if I'm not being too detached...I mean...if I'm just trying to use the idea of detachment to avoid certain issues I might have with a few people..or maybe about certain circumstances.

    Each mornng when I wake up I tell myself that today is a new slate...I empty my mind of yesterday and just think of the day as a jar needing to be filled with orange juice or a canvass waiting for color...I look at the kids ( teengagers!!)..dragging dripping towels and wearing their hair standing and telling me about the idea of having a piercing..and I take a deep breath and tell myself I love this kids inspite of their weird ideas and inspite of the music they're listening to right now....and I smile...and I feel calm...I think that's my detachment...

    It's been some time since I've heard church bells chime...I'm trying to hear what you've heard...

    I think I hear it now...

    lovely read..

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I always appreciate the time you take to comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by. Peace from my heart to yours. xo, Graciel