Freshness

There is a hint of a breeze blowing through my transition. A freshness. A newness. A promise. This light breeze carries with it interests that are novel and unexpected. My brain and my heart are slowly turning their combined attention to things and ideas that have lived on the outskirts of my awareness. Things that, before this transition into expanded womanhood, I could not muster up the energy or enthusiasm to care about to any large degree. Things that did not define the woman I am letting go of, but seem to be outlining the woman destined to emerge.


Clothes of a more feminine nature are suddenly wafting in on the breeze. As is handmade jewelry and the first perfume to tantalize my wrists since Love's Baby Soft defined my teenage years. Shoes are of greater interest. Homemade bread is of greater interest. Fiction has usurped nonfiction as my bedtime sleep-aid of choice. Retablos and 600 square foot houses and seashells have tugged hard at my expanding heart. Turkish bazaars and Tunisian seashores and Russian forests have all swept through on that same breeze.

Plants have become a necessity in the acceleration of freshness. My brown-tipped and sadly neglected collection of green living things has recently been joined by one lush ivy, one lucky bamboo, one mixed pot of herbs and tomorrow, oh joyful tomorrow, one lavender orchid plant, with petals shaped like butterflies, to grace the north window of my living room.

Freshness and newness and promise. Universal breadcrumbs and puzzle pieces. All doled out in the darkness and lightness of my transition. All designed to keep my head above water, instill hope and help me understand there will be beauty and creativity and adventure on the other side of letting go.