mr. solly ~ groomed and ready
getting more acquainted (photo by, tina)
losing my fears by the minute (photo by, tina)
lunging with mr. chance (photo by, tina)
and...the muppet of my dreams~ renaldo!
(he is fond of my bag of apples)
it is said that everyone grieves differently. that grief is a process. that it will catch you off guard over and over again. my process has felt like falling down a well, causing me to feel un~well and reclusive. not being one to easily ask for help, it has taken some time to devise a plan of how to climb back out.
i began with the simplest of silent prayers to no one in particular~ "please help me." i asked this over and over for days and weeks.
along with my prayers, i knew instinctively the way out of the well included horses. but the lift up and out would require losing my baseless fear of them. overcoming one fear to soothe another.
so, i asked for help.
and miss tina answered with generosity and compassion and her 2 rescued horses. this is my second week of meeting her at the big barn with 11 apples split into bites. i've learned to put a harness on both her horses, to walk beside them, to groom them and shift with them when they fidget. today we worked the lunge line.
already, i can feel a change. more courage, more calm, more willingness to speak up. i am beginning to see the light.
i love every itsy bitsy piece of this - i love the pictures of you and am impressed, and omg, i love reynoldo THIS MUCH and i love your words and i love that you asked for help. the hardest thing to do.
ReplyDeleteand you. i love you.
this is just a big old smooshy love fest over here tonight. oh - and i, too love your bag of apples.
xoxo
oh, you make my eyes all watery. i love you, too! three cheers for donkeys!!
DeleteHorses saved me long ago, and continue to again and again as I occasionally forget who I am along the way. I love nothing more than sharing this feeling of love and empowerment with those who are willing to experience it. At the barn, that cloudy Monday morning, you were able to confidently work on your fears, and intimately share your space with two very different, and very large souls. My most happy and shining moment, when you were so focused on working your hands and feet and so focused on watching Chance's movement and he floated around you, that you, at the time, probably did not realize that an almost 2,000 pound (prey animal wired-brain) animal was working around you completely free and willing to let you be in the drivers seat from the end of a 25 foot rope. Whether you realize it or not, you literally took the reins, took control, and were communicating every step he took- clearly asking him what to do, resulting in those fluid obedient circles. You went from 2 legged friend, to the beginning of a 2 legged "herd" leader. Strong, quiet, soft, a good communicator, and over all -confident. You earned your gold stars!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful healing process.
ReplyDeletelove!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you did this, that you asked, that you had the courage, that it made you smile. xoxo
ReplyDelete