Tuesday, September 04, 2012
the dark lady
if you ask me if i have slept well, i have not.
for a month.
except for last night, finally.
exhaustion has settled in.
if you ask me how i am doing, i do not know.
there is nothing to compare this time to,
this time where my mother is gone.
if you ask me where she is now,
that is what i find so difficult, painful, heart-wrenching.
do not placate me with platitudes of heaven.
i want science.
~an explanation of where does life-energy go when it transforms.
if i call out to her now, does she hear me?
i question if there was anything more i could have done.
but now, just now, it is not mine to know.
i let the dark lady take me and shape me in quiet despair.
i lay down in her realms of night and endings and death,
blind on the path to reconceiving myself.
i wait to be born anew.