I am singing Suite Judy Blue Eyes.
My mother comes to me in dreams wearing purple, wearing blue, smiling, arms open.
I miss him and there is nothing I can do to change that.
Except drive to the swamps and scan the fields, the still frozen waterways for the ghost trails of snowy owls.
There is the dualistic sensation of everything falling apart, of dire circumstances looming, and the breaking dawn of positive at-long-last change. Of things, of life finally congealing to rise.
There is an urge to maximize my resources: money, physical energy, time. I think of each of them carefully. How to use what I have to my fullest benefit, to sculpt a fulfilling life. A life I finally agree to live.
I am working quietly behind the scenes in support of the rise, my rise. I am stepping over the wide chasm in the sand carved by my mother's death. Money, energy and time are focused on the old and new urges of my soul: a business, flowers, nature, horses, people I love.
Words have failed me regularly for the past year and a half. I hope a new well will be dug. I miss the soothing flow. While waiting, in support of my rise, my urges, I am writing pictorial poems. You can now find me here~
Life is moving on.
My soul seeks its bloom.
Please join me.
ahhh. changes. this time of your own doing. i love it. and you. <3
ReplyDeleteI got a weepy, welling-up-in-my-heart feeling while reading this post. My, how I wish we could sit together and talk over tea...of all the changing tides of the past couple of years. Words have mostly failed me, too. I understand your writing absence and savor each post, as well as your lovely new site. Sending you much love, peace, hope, and sunshine, dear Kindred.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
This is your most recent post.. Tonight I was taking my sister her overnight bag... As I was coming down my aunts road I had to come to a complete stop BC there was an owl in the middle of the road right in front of the car where I was sitting in the drivers side.. It looked at me for a few seconds before it flew into the tree above
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