A Home For Buddha

10 Lives Club website photo: shy, buff adult male

Nowhere to hide in the kitchen. Yikes!

Behind the door. Not safe enough.

Waaaaayyyyyyyyy in the back of the skinny, old closet. "I think I'm safe. I think I'm safe."

Dear Buddha,

I love you already. I'm sorry it took me 3 weeks from the time we first met to understand we belong together. I was distracted by thoughts of a socially outgoing and adorable cat to keep my rambunctious Remmington company. I have always had cats claim me in obvious ways. You hid behind a chair at the shelter and I dismissed you.

Luckily for both of us, Angels intervened and had my head and heart snapping whenever I saw a buff-colored cat. And then it was the incessant whispers of "Buddha" in my ear until I finally realised I had been thinking of you for a solid week. Yes, at times, I am slow on the uptake, but I have enough Universal training to eventually understand the signs.

I thank God for these uncertain economic times, Sweet Buddha, because they have shifted my priorities. I am now able to let go of my ridiculously strict list of what and what only will make me happy. It is as if my heart has been held tightly in a bud, and now, out of necessity, the restrictions and freedoms of these purposeful times have allowed my heart to fall open in bloom.

In the falling and the opening, I have turned my mind back to you. Suddenly, you became an option. Suddenly, all that mattered was that I take the risk of offering you a home. It makes no difference anymore if you are painfully shy. You need a home and it is the least I can do, as my contribution to a healthier, more lovable planet, to approach you once more and see if you would have me. And, Angels be blessed, you said yes.

When the 10 Lives Club cat shelter told me you had been with them since July of 2007 and before that, you were in a shelter in Indiana, slated for euthanasia, I realised, tearfully, you had been in shelters for most of your 2 and a half years of life. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But I'm here now. We found each other. Hide as much as you want. Be whoever you are. You are safe. I will love you no matter what. xo

{The Ten Lives Club shelter for cats is in Concord, NY, just south of Boston. They are a no-kill shelter with 300 cats currently in their care.}

New Pioneers~ the reprise

I originally posted this essay in August of 2006. Amazingly, there are a few friends and readers who have been with me since then and may recall this piece. I was guided to re post this today. As a reminder for myself.

Angels are writing classifieds. They are putting a call out for new pioneers. Pioneers who are willing to instill balance. Pioneers who are willing to make peace. Pioneers who are willing to uncover inner landscapes and share them with the world.

The Angels are calling for me. They are also calling for you. We are the new pioneers. We are the innovators that will save the rain forests, lift up the poor and stop the endless cycle of war. We are the innovators that the Angelic Realm is relying on to shift this world on its axis. To heal this world of its ills. To usher heaven down to earth.

What can we do to shift and heal and usher? What can we do to answer the call and be a new pioneer? We can be ourselves. Utterly. Completely. Daily. We can express who we really are. As God made us. In front of everyone we meet. Quirks, smirks, passions and all.

This call takes courage to answer. Courage of heroic proportions. Because we have been taught to live our lives to please other people. We have been taught to suppress the best parts of ourselves to fit in. To be accepted. To earn love. We have been taught by our parents and our schools and our society at large to squelch the very characteristics that make us each unique. The very characteristics that empower us. It takes rare courage to stop heeding the pressure imposed on us. To stop making the opinions and approval of others, all others, matter so much.

But the salvation of the world depends on each of us to dig deep for that rare courage. To give ourselves permission to go against the tide and express our true selves. To express God through ourselves. And with God, there is only goodness. Only love.

When we are truly ourselves in front of another person, our energy automatically empowers that other person to feel comfortable to express who they really are. Their personal brand of caring, of humor, of love. Like a domino effect, one person's courage triggers the same courage in the next person and the next and the next.

When enough of us heed the Angelic call to be who we are in every moment, to be the new pioneers, miracles will abound. Peace will abound. Love will abound. God's balanced Kingdom and Queendom will abound. When enough of us heed the Angelic call, we will discover we are individually and collectively the long awaited second coming.

Courage, My Love

This is my new understanding. It is very easy to feel discouraged. It is very easy to take the low road. It is very easy to give up. Add to the new understanding that it takes courage to stay positive. Courage to keep a peaceful mind. Courage to attend to the needs of the moment while loss and despair stand ready to seep their poisonous fumes through cracks in the heart. Do not feel discouraged. Do not give up. Make a pact with me. Let's choose to be courageous.

In this pact of ours, full of new understandings, let's also choose to be more open and honest. Let's ask for help when we need it. Let's ask friends and strangers to send up prayers on our behalf and the behalf of those we love. It works, you know. That prayer thing. It makes a world of difference. I have seen it. Felt it. Lived it firsthand. Let's also remember to give no matter what our circumstances. Giving~ things, compliments, time, hugs, our best~ steers us immediately off the low road and soars our spirits skyward.

Let's stop recounting the reasons to be unhappy, the reasons to be upset. Let's instead use the power of the mind and heart to focus on what we have to be thankful for. What is actually going right. Have courage, my Love. There are always things going right.

Make a pact with me. To see the glass half full. To dare to imagine it completely full. To hold onto hope in the most trying of circumstances. To balance crying with laughter. To dare to think positive when the world is thinking negative. To be courageous. To give. And to love. No matter what.

Barakah

In the midst of present uncertainty, the Universe has asked me to practice what I have been diligently taught. Now is the time to hone your skills, dear student, they whisper. Now is the time to flex your wings. Now is the time to know for sure you have the power to attract miracles. Set your mind and heart to the task, just as we have shown you. Abandon doubt. Clear your mind. Open your heart. Fly.

And so I have prayed. I have asked, on a daily basis, for the spirit of love and good health and prosperity and freedom to be with me and those I love. I have stood on a mountaintop, in my mind's eye, shining like a beacon, arms spread wide, repeating over and over, "find me. come home to me". I have stepped out of the shadows to enlist the aid of any and all in the healing of my Mother. I am holding a mindset of positive outcome, to the very limits of my ability. I am calling on Angels. I am staying in the present moment. I am caring for myself. I am playing with my cat.

As well, I am asking for signs and confirmations and a well-lit path. And I am receiving all of it. From the solitary, majestic buck at the side of the road, to the reluctant journal I won on Tara's blog, to the embraces so generously given, to the walls that have crumbled to dust, to today, the day of my sweet and unexpected Barakah from Maryam in Morocco. Barakah: my luck, my abundance, my fulfillment, my blessing. The incense I will yield to heaven in gratitude for the utter richness of my life.

Abandon doubt. Clear my mind. Open my heart. Fly.

{10,000 thank yous to Jen Lee, Tara Bradford and especially dear, dear Maryam.}

p.s....just in case you are not aware of the magic of linking, click on the bold, blue words and be transported.

Missing

Some one I love is missing. The official term is missing in action. He is in the army, you see. And he is lost. To me and to everyone who cares deeply for him. Not so very long ago, he sent me this picture, saying, "this is our path together. for a time, we may not be able to see our way, but remember, my love, the life-giving sun lies beyond the clouds".

Today, it feels especially cloudy. But I am not afraid to hope. I am not afraid to demand the Angelic realms light his path home. I am not afraid to ask you to say a little prayer on his behalf.

One moment at a time. One prayer at a time. One step closer to the sun.

Precious

What do you hold precious? Is it the laughter from your 4 year old? Is it the warmth of your partner under the sheets? Is it the smiling bark or the purr or the flutter of wings when you walk through the door? I certainly hope it is not your boat. Or your sizable bank account. Or your professional title. Or your Manolo Blahniks. Please tell me it isn't your over-sized, flat screen TV. Because if it is, you've missed the point. Of life.

In a world economy tilting on its axis, in times of illness and uncertainty, shiny, distracting things lose their luster. What we may have defined as precious a few months ago is gathering a film of tarnish. Things are revealing themselves for what they are... just things. The category labeled "precious" by our minds shrinks. The category of the same name found in our hearts expands.

Right now, in the only "now" there is or ever was, my list of what I hold precious is simple, but not short. Mostly, it includes aspects of the living and breathing. Like the sound of his voice. Like the tears of my Mom over the phone. Like the sweet and supportive gestures of my friends Lynn and Don and Sue and Janet. Like the happy sack of cat slung over my shoulder while typing. Like chocolate, like tea, like hot mushroom soup.

What is precious? The little details of relationships. Snippets of time where love is given and received. Full mind-body immersion in activities that speak to our soul. Every aspect of nature. Fresh water. Clean air. Forgiveness. And faith.

The Power Of Words

Niagara River. Canada on the left, U.S.A. on the right

Culinary Shop, Queen St., Niagara on the Lake

My Beloved Neighbor, Canada (I can see you from my house!)

Irish Tea Room on Queen St.

The Lovely Gillian

Dear Gillian,

Yes. It is all about the power of words. I agree they shape our world. They manifest or they take away. As we speak, as we write, as we declare, so shall our world be. Words offer opportunity and create pathways to our greater good. Had I never had the courage to begin writing in a public forum, I would never have met you. Had I never used words to express who I am, my world would be less sweet today. But I began writing and I continue writing and I wrote a path to you.

Today, over lunch and shopping in Niagara on the Lake, Ontario, I discovered you are a kindred soul. Not only do you write a blog I adore, you are mad for taking pictures, and are passionate about tea. As if that weren't enough to make me swoon, you love rocks and crystals and are wise beyond your years. Thank you for the reminder that choosing a direction, picturing the outcome and surrendering the request to the Universe is a sure-fire way to make dreams come true. Thank you for being so steadfast in your knowing that to stay in the moment, to focus on NOW, is the key to calm and peace within. You are beautiful inside and out.

On my return trip, while crossing the bridge back to the U.S., Elton John sang one of my favorite songs: Mona Lisas and Madhatters. I sang aloud the line, "I thank the Lord there are people out there like you". I am grateful. Thank you for a beautiful day. Thank you for being so open. Thank you for showing me if I am true to myself, if I use the power of my words well, good things and good circumstances and good people come along. What a nice life, aye?

Generous People

The most generous people I know have the least to give. They give a much higher percentage of their total income and Beingness than many of those who are flush. The most generous people I know are less afraid of doing without, even when they must, than many of those who will ever have to choose to deny themselves anything. The most generous people I know recognize genuine need and give without strings or concerns. They give because it's the compassionate thing to do. They give because in giving, they are themselves the ultimate recipient of good.

The most generous people I know are on alert for opportunities to share what they have. They are the ones who see we are not islands set apart from each other, but rather blooms in a vast, common field. They see that to keep one bloom from fading under the weight of inevitable storms and drought, is to keep themselves rooted in the grace and glory of God. The field is more beautiful and rich when we support each other in maintaining our individual blooms. The field is more rich when we share.

We Are Sacred

We are each of us sacred. If we know we carry the sacred with us, the sacred appears everywhere we go and in everyone we meet.

For sale in my etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17046281&ref=em

Double 4

There was a time I detested my birthday. There was a time, on the cusp of 35, I was deeply depressed. I used to hold my birthday as a barometer of where I had not gone, what I had not achieved, and how off base my life was from that of societal norms. It was all I could do to hold my head above water while waiting for November 5th to pass. It's November 5th, 2008. I detest my birthday no longer.

Like my reblooming orchid, which once had 2 spectacular stems of flowers, and neat, compact roots, I find myself leaning off to the side. I have less blooms than I once did. I have wayward roots bent on seeing how far I can stretch beyond my formerly compact world. I have more leaves to take in more light. I am growing in a less structured way. I am doing my own thing. I am more interesting than I was.

So today, on my 44th birthday, a big rat's ass to societal norms. I am not irrelevant. I am not past my prime. I have work to do in this world: service to others, healing, creating beauty, offering compassion. I have finally learned to appreciate the beat of that different drummer I have heard my whole life. I choose to torment myself no longer.

Instead, I will eat cake. I will embrace the audacity of hope. I will ask God for the grace to do and say and not say what is in Its highest plan for me and those I cherish. I will express gratitude for the amazing people who bless my life. I will keep it simple. I will choose love.

p.s. And how's this for an lovely Universal gift? ~as I turned 44, I watched the gracious and dignified 44th President-Elect bring me to tears with his acceptance speech.

We Can and We Did

I live in a little red town in a big blue state. I bought 3 newspapers this morning at the tiny convenience store. I interrupted an argument with the local grey-haired population at the check out counter. They said indignantly, "How can he be President?? He's not even an American citizen? He was born in Kenya!" I said, "His father was born in Kenya. He was born in Hawaii." No, no, they kept repeating, the paper says he was born in Kenya! He can't be President! I repeated firmly, his father was born in Kenya. His father was born in Kenya. I wished them all a good day and smiled to myself on the way out the door. Walking past the new sign in the window of my neighbor ~ Forgive us O Lord for our nation~ I clutched those 3 papers to my heart.

Thank you, Mr. Obama, for restoring HOPE and dignity to my country.

Thank you to all the inclusionary-minded citizens of these United States for casting your ballots in favor of progress and change. A special thank you to Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana and Colorado.

Now, let us dare to raise this man up with the power of our positive thoughts. Let us allow him, through our positive thoughts, to be a great channel for our collective good.

God Bless America. And more importantly, God bless the world.

Sweet Spots

I'm experiencing yet another pause. My dreams are still hovering, but action is not the calling of the day. Awareness is. Gratitude is. Inspiration is. I look around me in this state of suspended animation and I see the miraculous in the ordinary. The Universe is highlighting the sweet spots of life, those easily dismissed what-more-could-you-ask-for happenings. It is my awareness

of these sweet spots that will keep me real and grounded as my life unfolds in new directions.

Inspiration and sweetness is my friend, Bahar. The Iranian born woman who came to America, by way of India, to escape the crushing oppression in her native land. Separated from her father for 12 years~ because of his being jailed for not being Muslim, his subsequent exodus to Germany with hopes and effort to establish his family in that country, hopes dashed, his family exiled to India and finally welcomed into America~ and one month after the news came of his approval to come to America to end the 12 years of separation, he died. Despite all that, despite a difficult life, Bahar glows from within. Tomorrow, she will marry the man of her dreams. Today, I made her wedding bouquet. It was a privilege to add my energy to an element of her great happiness.

Sweet spots, I have become aware, can be pleasingly salty. Especially when gathered with friends for a long overdue feast. Especially when host, David, regales the hungry revelers with gourmet pizzas. Cooked to perfection in his pizza oven, because naturally, all gourmet bread makers have a pizza oven in their garage. Throughout the evening, I paused to watch my friends drink and feast and laugh, and my heart swelled. It was a privilege to partake of such happiness.

I'm grateful for this pause in forward movement. I'm grateful for this chance to look around. Little miracles are coming into sharp focus. The core essence of life is revealing itself quietly. Happiness is everywhere. Inspiration is everywhere. The sweet spots keep coming and coming.

Native American Prayer For Peace

O Great Spirit of our ancestors,

I raise my pipe to you.

To your messengers of the four winds,

and to Mother Earth who provides for your children.

Give us the wisdom to teach our children

to love, to respect, and to be kind to each other

so that they may grow with peace in mind.

Let us learn to share all good things that

You provide for us on this Earth.

This Is It

This is it. This is the time to let it all go. The fears and the worries and the oh-my-God-what-will-they-think-of-me self torment. This is the time to curl my toes over the edge of the cliff, fondle the rip cord and jump. Because to remain on the edge, in the illusion of safety, is a very ineffective place to be. Because my Mother now has cancer. Because the right of a woman to have complete sovereignty over her body is being threatened by an old man and his pink-lipped pit bull. Because too many Americans are ignorant and slovenly and brainwashed by drug-pushing media.

So I will soar. To the best of my ability. To the extent my quelled fears will allow.

I will raise up my Mother's energy and spirits. I will cook for her. I will love her fiercely and infuse her with hope and a promise that no matter what...no matter what...her heart and soul are safe and loved.

I will vote for Barack Obama. I will support the idea of freedom of choice, of diplomacy in foreign relations, of respect for the environment. I will support a minority figure in American government because We The People have forgotten we are all equal.

Come to the edge with me. Dare to effect change in the world. Dare to effect change in your country, in your town, in your family. Demonstrate hope. Give love. Turn off the TV. Vote.

Beloved

Still, I hold myself back. Still, I carry the colors of my soul in muted light for few to see. Still, my hands reach not for paints and rusted nonsensical objects that beg for creative revival. And now you are sick, Beloved. Now, the reasons and seasons of holding back seem wasted and small.

That disease. That disease that catches our breath and stops the tick-tick-ticking on the kitchen wall, I will scale its mountainous fear. I will throw myself off the cliff of its intrusion and yank the rip cord. Rip it hard and watch the nylon colors mushroom skyward. I will float, rainbow-hued and billowing, against heaven's cellar floor. I will be seen, Beloved. I will be seen for you.

Autumn In Mayberry

Goddess Gathering

October 18th was Goddess Night. The Sisterhood of the Flowing Skirts all showed up in pants. They brought brie and cream puffs and truffles. I served corn chowder and rosemary bread and salad with homemade dressing. We chatted and feasted in my little square kitchen. We discussed how unity and sharing and the dispersal of Light were the calling cards for the times at hand. We oogled over the black kitten in residence, washed the dishes and retired to the living room. The time was at hand to invoke the gathering of Goddesses.

Spreading a blanket on the floor, we each claimed a corner. Present and accounted for were the Goddesses of Love, Clarity, Healing and Compassion. The Goddess of Clarity arranged the altar in the center. The Goddess of Healing brought out the gilt-edged Goddess Cards. The Goddess of Love tuned her Tibetan singing bowl and me, the Goddess of Compassion, gathered pillows for comfort. Our golden scarves were draped over shoulders and the first cards from the deck were drawn. Each card, bearing artwork and explanation of a world-recognized Goddess, held a precise message for each of us.

Surprisingly and not, the 3 Goddess cards I chose were spot-on in timeliness. Artemis, the Guardian, told me I am safe and spiritually protected. She told me I have a sacred mission to spread love and light and to let go of my concerns and worries. She said a joyful heart and laughter will set my power in motion. She also said the worst is now behind me. Aine (awn-ya) told me now is the time to take a leap of faith. She said to take a risk and put my true heart's desire into action. Make my decision and all the Universe will rush to support me. She said to TRUST and hesitate no longer. She assured me, with baby steps, my dreams will come true. And White Tara told me I am becoming increasingly sensitive to energies. She said to avoid harsh relationships, environments, situations and chemicals.

2 meditations, 1 hands-on healing session, a respite for cream puffs and tea and further discussion of the need for sharing God-given gifts...and the Goddess gathering drew to a close. We lingered at my door with thanks and hugs and promises to exchange recipes. And then they were gone.

Our Goddess Gathering did not solve the problems of the world. What it did was add more love and light and joy into the ethers. It raised the vibrations of the atmosphere a tiny bit. It warmed the hearts and souls of 4 women, especially mine.

{Any time human beings gather for the purpose of sharing and caring and exchanging the energy of love, the earth is caressed, the energy of fear is pushed back and the world as a whole is healed a little bit more. If we create simple opportunities to gather, if we make the time to just be happy together, the world will shift more fully towards the good.}

Hand In Hand

Our fate is in our own hands. And our own hearts. We are not at the mercy of outside circumstances. We are at the mercy of inside circumstances. Our inner-most thoughts, the stories we tell ourselves over and over, and the basis of our actions, be they fear or trust, all determine the quality of our lives.

As this new world unfolds, our individual hearts and hands must choose a new fate. We have lived in a state of separation. The choice must now be made to live in a state of unity. The time is no more to focus on our differences. The time is ripe to find our commonalities. We must use our hands to reach across artificial boundaries and embrace people of varying cultures. We must heed our hearts and welcome new ideas from new places. We must stop being so damn afraid of each other.

World unity, the idea and practice that every person is of value and deserves to be loved and supported, is the direction we are now headed. The idea and practice of separation, regarding culture, race, and caste, is being washed away. Mindsets and heart sets entrenched in outdated dogmas will find themselves drowning in misery. Or simply drowning.

We must make the choice to open our hands to each other, to form new connections and strengthen the ones we have. We must learn to live cooperatively, sharing and caring for each other as never before. We must choose to curb excesses that threaten the survival of this planet. We must choose new stories to tell ourselves. "We are safe. We are loved. There is always more than enough".

Hand in hand, heart to heart, open mind to open mind, the quality of our individual and collective lives will rise. Do not be afraid. Be separate no longer. Choose a new fate. Unite.

Choosing Our Focus

I've had enough with the doomsday media. It's time to trust in the God of my choice to care for me, provide for me and keep my head above water, come what may. Peace in uncertainty was the goal of ancient wise people. I'm making it my goal as well. I'm looking for opportunities to curb my oh-so-American habit of tossing things out before seeing if said trash can be fixed or re-purposed. I'm washing out my zip-lock storage bags, keeping a more careful eye on food expiration dates to avoid unnecessary waste and expense, and I've arranged for cooking classes with my Oma to expand my dine-in culinary repertoire. Most importantly, I'm focusing my attention on things that bring me joy.

The ancients also knew that what we focus on is what we get. Focus on doom and gloom, and darkness will surely find its way to our door. Focus on joy and love and creating goodness, and supportive, uplifting light will shine over our threshold. As a woman who trusts in the power of the positive, I'm making it my sacred responsibility to bring more light into uncertain times.

My brand of light shines through my creativity and compassion. In order to up the wattage, the Universe is challenging me to creep a bit further out from under the bushel basket and share the goodness God gives through me. My knees are knocking, but I know in my heart, now is not the time to retreat. Now is the time to come as forward as I dare. Because my brand of light may be just what some else needs to gain the courage to turn up their own wattage. Their light in turn switches on the courage of someone else. And the domino effect takes hold.

Light, my friends, light in its myriad forms of care and concern and community and creativity is what we collectively need to focus on. We, in our fully expressed selves, are the answer to stabilizing an unstable world. What ever we dream of doing, whatever cause speaks to our hearts, whatever way we can express our love and care and bring more light to this world, the time is now to begin.

Thankschristmas

Yesterday, doubts were dashed and festivity prevailed. Yesterday, you see, was Thankschristmas. My quirky family has adopted a new tradition since the little lake house entered our lives last year. Because my relatives leave for warmer winters at the end of the month, we have officially rushed the season and combined the holidays. We have invented a reason to gather and feast in the shimmering autumn of western New York. Thankschristmas is now my favorite holiday.

With a gaggle of German immigrants in attendance, of course, there was a real tree. Lights, glass ornaments and a wood-shaving star on top. The table was set with vintage Christmas linens, candles, pilgrims and pumpkins. Each chair had a vintage apron, freshly pressed, draped over its back. The kitchen was resplendent with smells of the rushed seasons. I was Pavlov's dog at the site of 4 pies. The floor under the tree was massed with bags and tins, all stuffed with treasures from garages sales and thrift stores. My Aunt, the Queen of Collecting Humorous Crap, had spent countless happy hours hunting down silliness for the holiday. There were 48 packages in all.

The first order of business was food. Hors' d'oeuvres', al fresco, out on the abandoned golf course just beyond the lake. Roasted tomatoes and goat cheese, pears with walnuts, dates and marscapone, cider bread with 2 Italian cheeses. We were vultures.

The second order of business was food. Back at the house, dinner was heated, wine was poured, everyone donned their vintage aprons (the men looked especially chic) and the feast began. We were insatiable. Aprons had to be loosened all around.

The third order of business was loot. 48 packages worth. We each took multiple turns picking from the pile, showing off our wares, stealing, bargaining and laughing 'til we cried. My Dad landed a shiny blue thong in one round, and I am the proud owner of 5 vintage paper, holiday tablecloths in original packaging. I almost gave them up for a chance at a John Deere tractor apron in green and yellow.

The last order of business was food. 4 pies and real whipped cream. Mincemeat, apple, pumpkin, and peach. We were gluttonous.

Finally, reluctantly, Thankschristmas came to an end. We were happy. We were full. We were thankful. Our cheeks hurt from laughing. Our invented holiday was the remedy for all ills, all worries, all doubts. All we need is good food, good company, laughter and love. Most of all, love.