Evenstar Art

52 Photos Project~red/heart

2012-02-15T12:03:00.000-05:00

{Red velvet cupcake from my Mother.}

There is no such thing as the day after Valentine's Day for me.

Because the purpose of every day is to love.

Even if I am able to love just a little on some days,

it counts as a day well spent.

For Bella

she is a student of the body

2012-02-12T17:02:00.000-05:00

{photos courtesy of christine}

This is Christine Claire Reed. She is a way-shower and a woman of courage. She is a student of the body. She is dancer and yogini. She is new entrepreneur. She is Blisschick and Girl On Fire. She is my friend.

Christine is very busy these days creating a haven of truth and bliss for the women of Erie, Pennsylvania. She has opened a studio for adoration of the mind and body in the form of dance, movement and interpretive yoga. Yet, in her busy life, she is making time to join me in The Soul In Bloom~ Home Edition, both as an online instructor and a participant in the 1 day retreat in Buffalo, NY. Christine will be assisting those of us on this journey-to-home to be more mindful and aware of our bodies. She is going to teach us of posture and breath; 2 things we rarely give thought to, but greatly affect the quality of our days.

Come join us for 6 weeks beginning February 25th. Come learn from Christine's astute attention to the needs of the body. Come meet her at the retreat on March 24th. She'll be the one with wisdom in her eyes and a pink tutu around her hips.

To learn more, go HERE.

To register, go HERE. There are only 13 days left to sign up to join us on the journey to home!

of bluebirds and five dollars

2012-02-09T04:00:00.001-05:00

You can't convince me it isn't great to live next door to the country. A brief jaunt beyond the limits of Mayberry and heart-stopping charm can be found on the side of the road.

Like handmade bluebird houses for five dollars. Seriously, five dollars. With pencil marks of the craftsman still visible for lining up the hinges of the front panel. It swings open, you see, for easy cleaning. Throw in the marketing genius of the hand-lettered sign and rusted radio flyer wagon for display, and you'll have me digging to the bottom of my purse for that five.

But the cup with the green lid and the good-sized rock inside? The cash register? I couldn't get it open to save my life. So, I had to dig out a little white bag from that same purse to put the five dollars in, and stuff the bag down into the wagon. I put the cup with the rock in it on top, for good measure. I hope when the wagon was pulled in for the night the bag was still there.

The bluebird house isn't even for me. I bought it for some one else. And if you think you need one, too, I'll be happy to drive back beyond the limits of town and pick up more heart-stopping charm.

I wonder, if they'd sell me the sign.

52 Photos Project~the love letter

2012-02-08T04:00:00.001-05:00

When my Mother first began her cancer treatment

3 1/2 years ago, I wrote her a love letter.

She has carried a copy of this letter

in her purse every day since.

For Bella and her Valentine edition of

52 Photos Project~ the love letter.

I brought pink tulips, Beloved, to distract you. To ease the cold and tingles of the clear, poison drip. I brought them, Beloved, for myself as well. To stare at during moments when biting the side of my tongue would not be enough to stave off tears. I brought pink tulips to remind us of spring and rebirth and hope and love. To remind us that, amid the painful needle sticks, the beeping, the constant motion outside your cubicle, the full house of patients enduring their own poisonous drips, there is great beauty waiting to be embraced. Within and without.

Cancer is a funny thing, isn't it Beloved? What threatens to tear us apart is also the gorilla glue that makes our hearts inseparable. What makes a body weak gives strength not seen before. Cancer offers up courage and comedy. It reduces walls to rubble. It offers the soul redemption. Its dark pathway shimmers with opportunities for light. It's a funny thing. It's a blessing. Yes. A blessing.

3 weeks from now, Beloved, the tulips will be red. They, too, will remind us of strength and beauty within and without. 7 years and 3 weeks from now, the tulips I bring will be yellow. They will remind us of the light on the path, the love on the path that led us out of darkness.

of nourishment and the soul in bloom

2012-02-06T18:39:00.002-05:00

the lovely Kasia Blue

We stat at my kitchen table, the lovely Kasia and me, and we chatted about food. Not about how much we love cheese (that conversation could last for days), but about what to eat and what not to. I am still in the process of figuring out how to eat for my overall betterment and Kasia has had answers for me when no one else I knew did. My better decisions with food have come from things she has taught me. Her medicinal chemist's brain and her way of getting to the point turned the tables for me last year. I make better choices (pay no attention to the chocolate cake in my fridge) and feel better because of them.

So, it was a needful choice that I asked Kasia to join me in my online course to help in honoring the body as our first home. Good food = a happier life, she says. And she's right. We made a video of our kitchen table chat and yet again, I learned more about making smart choices. The video is part of week 1 of the course.

This is why I am creating a course about honoring the home~ because, I, more than most need to find my way there. In the process of pulling the ideas and activities and the brilliant minds of my instructors together, I am learning volumes of what it is to be at peace with myself and settle into my home(s) at last. This evolving creation is among the greatest gifts I have given myself.

I would be honored to share it with you. Come learn with me. Ask Kasia questions about the chemical reactions happening inside your body and understand how food is a sacred component of a happier life. Come meet her at the 1 day retreat. Come join the down-to-earth community forming for the 6 week journey to home.

What~ The Soul In Bloom~ home edition: online course and retreat.

When~ February 25th, 2012 through April 5th, 2012, with a 1 day retreat March 24th in Buffalo, NY.

Why~ To honor the 3 levels of HOME: body as1st home, dwelling as 2nd, earth as 3rd.

How much~ Only $65 for the online portion, and $95 if you'd like to join the retreat, as well.

To read all about it go HERE.

To sign up go HERE.

in its deepest essence

2012-02-05T20:11:00.000-05:00

perhaps everything that frightens us is,

in its deepest essence,

something helpless that wants our love.

rainer maria rilke

for debi

the colors of snow

2012-02-01T21:28:00.000-05:00

it was only 6" at best.

a mere dusting in this winter without winter.

but it muffled the world and sparkled at my feet

and laid down the canvas for new life.

Spreading The Word and a FREE Magazine

2012-01-30T12:27:00.001-05:00

Would you like one of my magazines for free? I will be happy to send you the issue of your choice in exchange for some help. I would like you to help me promote my online course and 1 day retreat. How, you ask? Simple. Word of mouth is the best form of advertising. Personal recommendations are king. I would ask you to share a photo and the link to my course 2x before February 20th. Either 1 blog post (should you have a blog!) and 1 Facebook shout out, or 2 shouts on Facebook. A few gushing words along with the links would be the bees knees.

Interested? Here's what to do.

1. Let me know on the comments that you would like to get your free copy. Email me at: thesoulinbloom@gmail.com with the issue of your choice and the address to send it to. After your 1st post, I will order your copy and have it sent. (Send another email with the link to your post/ Facebook page.)

2. If you're creating a blog post, capture the white window picture at the top of this post and use this link.

3. If you're creating a Facebook announcement, use the same link. The photo will automatically show up.

That's it!

And I'd be honored if you'd want to join the course. The more I work on it (it's become a daily obsession to map it out), the more peace comes into my soul. This offering is part of what I'm meant to do. (At last, she found her calling...)

For more information, click HERE.

To purchase a copy of my magazine, dirt cheap until February 14th, go HERE.

{Update: thank you to everyone who just went ahead and started posting to Facebook!}

of ruin, insanity and the quest for inner peace

2012-01-29T11:53:00.000-05:00

There is light snow, at last. It is morning. The tea is hot, the raspberries are washed, the room is warm and lit. I read of rain forests being devoured in Peru; earthen floors raked bare and mercury dumped at will into Amazonian rivers, all for the sake of our world's insatiable appetite for gold. Peru, the article says, produces 165 tons of gold per year. That's incomprehensible destruction of leaf, insect, feather and fur.

I read, also, about the 50th anniversary edition of a land mark work of history~ The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, by the American William Shirer. In 1960, it was the book that brought America out of its 15 year amnesia of the atrocities of WW2. It sought to chronicle the reasons (most of) the German nation united in a horrifying, frenzied mass movement of self-delusion and destruction.

But there is snow falling on pine trees just beyond my window. The heat clicks on and the cats are drowsy at my feet. If I gave away my gold jewelry would it help? Would it make a moment's impact if I vowed to acquire nothing new in karats? And the war. The one of the homeland of my mother; she born into it's start. Would knowing the details of its horrors, would understanding the hows and whys help me stand apart from the potential of a future loss of sanity by the masses? History tends to repeat itself, after all.

Or is it just best to live in the present, the storied and perfect "now", content in my small corner of the world? Is it just best to stay alert and go about the business of honoring my daily needs and the calls of my heart? It feels selfish. Yet, I know that the butterfly wing fluttered across the world eventually reaches my corner of it. The ruin of the rain forests affects me, as well. The war, certainly, gave trajectory to my life even before I drew breath. So, in turn, will my quest for peace within myself and the actions I take to lead a life of meaning and compassion somehow, someway effect the forests and play a role in quelling extremist domination?

With snow falling on pine, in the warmth of the morning, I can only hope that the answer is yes.

52 Photos Project~ at rest

2012-01-25T04:00:00.001-05:00

sleeping otters

trees at rest

mr. twinn. at rest. hopefully, at peace.

sheep. lounging. north sea dike.

once there was a bed

strewn with tulips just for me.

i napped among the stems and the petals.

For Bella and her 52 Photos Project

gardening in small spaces

2012-01-23T18:28:00.001-05:00

green cymbidium orchids

amaryllis waiting room

love me some texture and grit

begonias. mirror. me. david.

glass ceiling

some times, you know somebody for a long time. or at least, you think you know them. then one day, you and they allow a shift to happen, and you both open the door to new discovery about each other. you are equally amazed. and you jump up and down because the door you opened together was just what the other one needed. life is never the same. it is now better.

i had asked david not so long ago to help me with an online course i was scheming up. i knew he knew about plants. could he teach some basic gardening for the course? i am no gardener and i wanted to learn. i thought others might want to learn, as well. he said yes, because he's my friend. then he threw in the part where the legion of angels standing behind me were saying how important it is that i create this course and because we talk like this to each other, i knew it was right that he be part of the offering.

so, we met at the buffalo and erie county botanical gardens to make a video of his course contribution, gardening in small spaces. i loved it. what a sweet and small adventure. we were occasionally swarmed by people asking what we were doing. one man was fascinated by my little camera. and my god, did i learn alot. it turns out david doesn't know about plants, per se, he is instead a walking encyclopedia of plants and gardening. thankfully, i had already had the sense to ask him to be one of the featured presenters at the 1 day retreat that accompanies my course. he'll be spreading his wisdom on the wonders of organic gardening. since i know the least, i expect i'll be learning the most.

take my advice. if you have a friend you think you know, raise the stakes. dare to open doors you have not thought to open together before. share knowledge and ideas. go places. enhance each others lives. i promise you, you will be amazed.

my other advice? sign up for The Soul In Bloom~ Home edition. learn along with me how to be more at home yourself. and make a list of questions for david. your plants and pantry will thank you.

To find out more, click HERE. begins february 25th.

Owl Omens 2

2012-01-20T20:23:00.000-05:00

stuffed great horned owl, Tift Nature Preserve, Buffalo, NY

snowy owl, copyright Jody Melanson

I'm waiting for my owl. I see owls everywhere; on place mats, greeting cards, sleepwear, statues. But in this rare season of irruption from the arctic fringes, I am waiting for the real thing. I am waiting for the snowy owl.

I drive by farms and fields, head swiveling side to side ( a likely danger on the roads), scanning the rooftops and telephone poles for a burst of white feathers. As yet, I have no glimpse of the prize. And I may not be graced with a sighting before the weather turns and the owls head back to the tundra.

I will wait and I will keep my heart open with expectant gratitude, for the snowy owl already lives inside me. As an omen, he is only good. He is the call for patience and waiting for beneficial things to come into view. He is not about wasting energy, but about carefully preparing the self, inside and out, for taking advantage of opportunity the moment it arrives. In the light and in the dark.

Timing is everything, says the owl, as is well-honed skill. There is no need for intimidation or wasteful nervous bluster. Go about your business, but pay attention. Your time will most definitely arrive. When it comes, act. Act from strength and the courage of having quietly developed your offerings. Let your inner wisdom come forth and shift your life. Be who you must be.

**********************************

Five and half years ago, I wrote a blog post about owl omens. Every day since (every single day!) some one from around the world has searched for insight about their personal owl encounters and clicked on this post. In the last 20 days alone, this post has been viewed 269 times. There seems to be no end to fascination with owls and sometimes fear of ill omens. I tell you, animal and bird sightings are never omens for ill or bad luck. Never. Nature is our ultimate teacher and healer and She in her wisdom sends willing messengers to get us to wake up and see the truth of our lives. Because we are so often asleep. The characteristics of the animal or bird we encounter are perfectly orchestrated to mirror a part of ourselves or our situations (self created). Their characteristics and behaviors and even positions are maps to get us back on track to living our lives out loud and unafraid. To being who we must be.

If you need assistance in interpreting your owl or animal sighting, leave a comment on my most recent blog post (regardless of its subject matter) and I will answer you back in the same comment box. Or email me at Evenstarart@gmail.com.

It's all good, if you allow it to be.

52 Photos Project~ color with emotion

2012-01-18T04:00:00.003-05:00

Color is how I comfort myself

in my wardrobe and my decor.

(Are 23 scarves too many?)

Colorful animals, stuffed and live,

can lift a mood in an instant.

(You will find both kinds in my home.)

I can tell by the color I am attracted to,

on any particular day, just what I need most

to feel more loved and balanced.

( I do not always act to fulfill these needs.

Some days are just like that.)

Week 2 of

The Soul In Bloom~ Home Edition

*online course and 1 day retreat*

Embracing color for comfort and change.

For Bella and her 52 Photos Project

expanding outward

2012-01-16T18:31:00.001-05:00

This is the year I expand outward.

Perhaps, without venturing too far from home.

I've ventured far in recent years,

awakening my soul in the process.

Now that I am awake I see what surrounds me

and it's time to embrace the new and the near.

Like the helleborus plant with green and white blooms.

Except that it's almost dead.

Because I am terrible with high maintenance plants.

Yet, I thought I would try.

So sorry.

In my expansion outward, in my desire to taste

from the deeper well of life,

I will make mistakes and I will ruin things.

But my soul will awaken further from having

reached beyond what I currently know.

The ruin will not compare to the riches

of what I find in my new expanded view.

Join me in expanding outward~

February 25th through April 5th.

The Soul In Bloom~ Home Edition

*online course and one day retreat*

make it about you

2012-01-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

there is something to this reaching beyond the known self. there is something unleashed in the subtlest of ways that captures and lifts the mind. the reaching, the daring clears away the film of thin despair coating the eyes and the old habits of thought. an embrace happens, self to self to life as a whole. not constantly, but softly and often enough to notice.

like a sunday morning in winter, with cats to warm toes and new books that arrived and tea and crystallized windows sparking pastels, there comes a contentment not previously known. and the wish is to know it some more.

decide to show yourself. decide to begin the journey you thought was too daring to take. make a little plan and begin. make it about you and invite people along when you're ready. the very best thing you can do for improved quality of life is to stop holding back. be public, be private or a little of both. your health and your wealth and your peace will improve when you take action on behalf of yourself.

52 Photos Project~ the macro shot

2012-01-11T04:00:00.003-05:00

If you were to accuse me

of being obsessed with flowers,

you would be right.

I am.

It's not something to apologize for.

Ever.

Because beauty and nature are solace.

Anytime, anywhere.

Last autumn, I needed solace.

I went early to the farmer's market.

I bought fistfuls of dahlias.

I spent hours arranging them

and taking photographs.

My day was better.

My home was happier.

Because of flowers.

I believe in flowers in the home.

Year round.

A single bloom or fistfuls.

If you come with me,

if you come home along with me,

I will teach you the simple wonder

of arranging flowers.

And you will be glad.

The Soul In Bloom ~ Home Edition

*online course and one day retreat*

February 25th through April 5th

Week 3~ Floral Design 101

For Bella

For Michael and Mary

2012-01-09T21:55:00.000-05:00

For my friend-of-the-heart, Michael.

And for Mary~ the woman who stepped

forward to stitch back together the pieces of his soul.

When it is cold and raining

you are more beautiful.

And the snow brings me

even closer to your lips.

The inner secret,

that which was never born,

you are that freshness

and I am with you now.

I can't explain the goings or the comings.

You enter suddenly

and I am nowhere again,

inside the majesty.

~Rumi~

The Word For Twelve

2012-01-08T13:19:00.000-05:00

my friend, eric, at home in northern germany.

thatched roof and leather pants. for real.

My umbrella word for two thousand twelve has been coming on since last spring when I ventured to Northern Germany with my Mother. I was struck by the way people lived and how deeply they embraced their surroundings. Never before had I witnessed and understood how connected some of my family and friends were to their dwellings and the land where they lived. Or how heart broken some were to be separated from the place and the people they had relied on as the anchors of their lives, whether by death or the need for assisted living. Between the bone-deep contentment of some and the tears of others, I knew it was all about home~ both the peace of it and the unfulfilled longing.

This is the year of home. This is the year of going home, even if I go nowhere at all. Maybe this need has to do with never owning a home, never raising children, never knowing how to plant myself firmly in a society that only supports tradition when tradition has not supported me. Maybe the need for home, finally, has nothing to do with place and everything to do with how comfortable I can feel inside my own skin. Maybe its about finding peace and comfort and roots on my less traveled road.

Whatever it is, I long for it. And I am the only one who can lastingly give it to myself.

So, I am going home. In all its rich meanings.

To help myself get there, I am charting a course. Come with me. Let's meet on the veranda with tea and dip our roots deep in the earth.

The Soul In Bloom~ Home edition

~online course and retreat~

February 25th through April 5th, 2012

tell me i am not the only one watching

2012-01-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

at twenty to eight in the morning i am scanning fields the color of brittle corn. there is no snow, yet i am searching for white; the white of feathers, the white of the owl that began its journey to me last spring and has yet to arrive. i wait and i scan and i drive. suddenly, there is white, a flash of wing, and i am swerving to the side of the road. it is not the owl, it is the hawk. the harrier hawk; the one that sweeps low over the color of brittle corn taunting the mice and the hares. she is exquisite and brief. she will not stay long. i watch and it matters not if i am late.

at three after five in the evening i am scanning the eastern sky. it is peach over blue, whispers and ripples of cloud covering a waxing moon. i can see in the mirror it is fire behind me, but i am driving east and the cars are coming fast and i have peach over blue. at last i am driving north and the fire is burning on my left. i am swerving to the side of the road, again. the sky is the rival of all biblical sunsets, bursting in yellow and that rose-peach-orange hue that has no name. the blinker ticks and the cars rumble by and i stare at the fire that changes by the second. i say thank you three times out loud.

there is no screen, flat or hand held, that can match the color of brittle corn or harness wind under a wing or wash the sky with fire. tell me i am not the only one watching.

The Soul In Bloom~ online course and retreat

2012-01-02T21:25:00.005-05:00

Not long ago, a question was posed to me~ where do you feel most at home? I could not answer and the not answering squeezed my heart. I realized my sense of home was shaky at best, and in that realization deeper explanations could be found.

So, I took that question and walked among the trees. The trees told me it was time to honor all aspects of home; my body as first home, my dwelling as second, the earth as third. In honoring that trinity I would finally and irrevocably come home to myself. And being at home with myself would transform my life.

I ask it of you~ where do you feel most at home? Let's find out together. Come home along with me. Let's bloom. xo, Graciel

The Soul In Bloom

~home edition~

online course and retreat

Online~ February 25th through April 5th, 2012

Retreat~ Saturday, March 24th in Buffalo, NY

Take the online course only for $65

Take the course and come to the all day retreat for $95

Click HERE to register

{Registration closes on Friday, February 24th at noon, eastern time.}

LIKE The Soul In Bloom Facebook page.

Questions? thesoulinbloom@gmail.com

Together, in The Soul In Bloom~ home edition, we are going to be inwardly attentive and outwardly practical. We are going to learn things that can improve the quality of our lives and make us feel more at home with ourselves. We will focus on our bodies, our dwellings and mother earth.

The 6 week online course will include lessons in the following~

posture alignment and breath practice
body chemistry and nutrition
releasing tension in the shoulders, neck and head
embracing color as a life-changing tool
the basics and benefits of floral design
sustainable square foot vegetable gardening
energetically cleansing our home
transforming our home to support our passion
the healing power of trees

We will also discuss what passion/activity makes our souls feel at home, the ability of grief to re-shape our notion of what home is, and we'll show off our pets.

How~ we will meet in a private blog for lessons and videos, and share photos in a private Flickr group.
The course will remain open for 6 weeks beyond the finish date for lesson and video review.

What is needed~ you will need high speed internet, a camera and the ability to upload photos, a Flickr.com account (sign up for free) and flowers of your choosing for the floral design lesson.

Instructors~ Graciel, Kasia Cummings, Lisa O'Connor LMT, Christine Claire Reed, David Clark (our horticulturalist and token male!), Emmy Wild Woman, Debi Smith Kaich Jones, Kelly Letky and Dr. Amy Tolbert, PhD.

My Wish~ is that you will actively participate throughout our 6 weeks together. As much as I will teach and facilitate, I also want to learn from everyone's wisdom and examples. We all have the potential to be resources and support for each other on our journey to home. And I really want to see your pets.

The March 24th All Day Retreat

in Buffalo, NY

Some things are just more fun and effective in person. We're going to get to know each other online for 4 weeks, and then give ourselves the opportunity to deepen the connection. We're going to meet in my tiny-town-that-time-forgot on the outskirts of Buffalo, NY. I affectionately call it Mayberry. (There are no stoplights, but plenty of church bells and eateries and a creek with a waterfall close by.)

When~ Saturday, March 24th from 9am to 5pm

Itinerary~

Morning refreshments (i.e. coffee and tea to settle us in)
Introduction circle (Remember elementary school "show and tell?" Yeh, bring a little something along from your journey to home.)
Tuning Fork demonstration with my favorite natural healer, Janice Meier. Everyone gets a mini balancing and the sound benefits from observing one full-body healing. 10-minute brain balancing sessions with Janice will be available after her demonstration. $10 per. If you've never experienced the peace of vibrational healing, you won't want to miss this!
Lunch~ everyone is on their own. Bring your own or patronize one of the 6 different eateries within spitting distance of our gathering.
Organic Gardening 101 with Horticulturalist David Clark. Because we need sustainable knowledge in these uncertain times, and besides, our bodies and Mother Earth would appreciate the effort. Bring your questions for David. He'll have the answers!
Tea tasting with ~ Bellocq Tea Atelier. Because tea is how I comfort myself and this tea company, with it's exquisite and refined blends, is the best I've ever tasted. And I am a tea ~~snob~~ connoisseur. I'm also related to the owner, who used to be a deputy food editor for Martha Stewart Living magazine. But nevermind that. This tea company is the bomb.
Closing circle and whatever comes to mind for deeper connection. We'll go with the flow.

If you can come to the Retreat, we'll square away all the details through email.

Attendance is limited.

If you're coming from out of town, we'll figure out together how to make it work. Keep in mind, Niagara Falls is about 30 or 40 minutes away from Buffalo. And Buffalo has amazing architectural wonders. (Ever heard of Frank Lloyd Wright?) Why not make a weekend out of it?

Email me at: thesoulinbloom@gmail.com.

Take the online course only for $65
or

Take the course and come to the all day retreat for $95

Click HERE to register

Thank you and much love,

Graciel

The Soul In Bloom~ online course and retreat

2012-01-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

Information on how to create a deeper feeling of home

within yourself, your dwelling and this precious earth coming January 2nd, 2012.

This is the season, the year we're going

to welcome ourselves back home.

Stay tuned...

auf wiedersehen twenty eleven

2011-12-31T18:49:00.001-05:00

photo by lisa

the soul in bloom~ summer issue

in a year of loss and anxiety, great goodness also happened. if i scan the year objectively, it was a balance of all things. i will remember that i held a hawk and fell under the spell of gigantic horses. i will remember i published 4 magazines and rode a motorcycle along the north sea. i will remember my family and friends.

on the table tonight i will lay bowls of fruit, yellow flowers, red hearts and cash~ my talisman tableaux to welcome the new year.

thank you for following along. thank you for your kind comments and support. may you be at peace with yourself, always.

with love, graciel

i will take flowers with me

2011-12-28T20:50:00.002-05:00

hand tied bridal bouquet~ 2011

green orchids and dark plum mini calla lilies

cascading bridal bouquet~ 2011

star gazer lilies, roses, and mini callas

From this year into next, I will take flowers with me.

Because my soul can't live without them.

But I will leave behind the exhaustion of designing only

what everyone else needs me to design.

In the coming year, I will discover new ways

to make flowers my own.

For Bella~ leave it behind in 2011 and welcome it in 2012

The Soul In Bloom~ Home Edition
*online course and 1 day retreat*

Week 3~ learn floral design 101!

Starts February 25th, 2012

short and glorious

2011-12-27T10:48:00.000-05:00

It was a short and glorious Christmas.

I savored the 24th and the 25th,

with their gatherings and laughter,

presents and confections,

as if they could possibly be my last.

I left no room for sadness in my glad heart.

I lived those 2 days how I would like to live everyday;

appreciative, attentive, open and content.

you are the sun

2011-12-23T04:00:00.002-05:00

there is rain, no snow.

there is spanish renaissance music, softly.

there is a string of white lights snaking,

drooping along the wall.

the christmas altar is up~

walnut mice with felt ears, tiny tinsel tree.

white candles are lit.

there is tea.

christmas is here;

carved out of the whirlwind, the obligations.

it is here in the 47 minutes of peace and soft glow.

it is here in the meditative mind that comes

naturally when the world is put aside.

in that mind, the myth of the season has relevance, has a lesson.

let unto you be born a savior.

that savior is yourself.

it is the mind-set you hold, the thoughts you think,

the actions you take or not in regards

to honoring your sacred self.

give birth to better thoughts about your own worth.

stand up for yourself. make waves. advocate.

let the mythical star lead you to your own adoration.

know your value.

live your value.

you are the sun.

and the savior of yourself.

52 Photos Project~ she made it better

2011-12-21T04:00:00.001-05:00

we've been friends for 27 years. she was the gift a long-ago boyfriend gave me when she and i met because of him. this year, this partly to mostly crappy year, she became my antidote to the cancer and the dying and the removal of the ring. our friendship shifted gears in the most wonderful way and we became regular partners in adventure and laughs, proving that life gets better with age.

we are simple folk, she and me, and we found ourselves eating at diners and bothering the amish, following the draft horse circuit like groupies and learning the art of falconry. she ripped the paneling off my living room walls not too long ago and ~~had better~~ will come back to help pretty up the horrors exposed.

in 2012, we've got plans. they'll revolve mostly around food and nature and finding new people to bother. and no matter what the year brings, she will make it better.

{This for Bella's 52 Photos Project~ the week's prompt is to show my favorite photo of the year. In searching the archives, I kept coming across my adventures with Lisa. Some are blurry, lots are silly and all of them are my favorites.)

like christmas day in the morning

2011-12-19T20:51:00.000-05:00

living next to a volunteer fire substation has some definite small-town perks; my home is unlikely to burn down, kids actually play outside on the blacktop all year long (hockey and chalk art rule the hood) and when santa delivers the mother-of-all-firetrucks to the boys of mayberry, i get to see it first.

this afternoon, shiny-red ladder #6 was moved in a hurry to the north bay to make room for the 'tower of power' (printed right on the side of the hydraulic lift) fire and rescue monster that came rumbling down the street. the volunteers that swarmed the south bay to get a close look were giddy, with hoots and hollers and rounds of high fives. like christmas day in the morning.

i watched the volunteers, one after the other, take the tower of power out for a spin and test their skills at backing into the bay. its been around the block at least 5 times, dieseling back in the now-dark with its red lights flashing and spinning off my windows, lighting the night with joy and a thrill, like christmas day in the evening.

come, come the darkness

2011-12-16T21:00:00.000-05:00

come, come the darkness.

we are ready.

we have fire.

the fire is inside us,

burning shadows to ash.

come, come the darkness.

we have risen.

we are crowned.

the crown is made of paper, of ash,

of starlight, of feathers.

of mettle from the fire within.

We are everything she needs us to be

2011-12-14T04:00:00.001-05:00

This year, as all the others, it's a German-flavored Christmas. Chocolate from across the sea and stollen with candied cherries. This year my Mom and me talked so much through the measuring and stirrings and 3 risings of the sacred stollen-baking process, we forgot to add the eggs. We laughed at how flat they were fresh out of the oven.

For the past 3 years, cancer has informed our Christmas. And so it does again this year, with discouraging news and options possibly waning. Yes, miracles happen everyday and we've had some already. I'd like more and pray for them daily. But this Christmas, this holiday of feasting and lights, we are whole-heartedly German in our celebrations. We are everything she needs us to be. We are strength. And we are love.

{For Bella and her 52 Photos Project~ sweets, treats and feasts}

The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

2011-12-11T20:42:00.001-05:00

She's always around, even when I am not paying attention. Sometimes, in the form of the postcard perched on the frame at the end of my hallway, she mysteriously floats to the ground, of her own accord, and lands in my path. She reminds me to remember her and her timing is always flawless. Then, today. I check the calendar to see when her feast day is~ Our Lady of Guadalupe, December 12th, it says. I make note of it and wander away.

15 minutes later, I am passing through the hall again and for the first time ever, it is not the postcard, but the prayer card of Our Lady that is laying in my path.

I am here, she says.

And she is.

She. Our Lady. The Blessed Mother. Virgin Mary. Mary. Mystical Rose. The Western Goddess. Goddess of Compassion. The Great Mother. Friend.

Hear her prayer: Much of what you are being told is untrue. Do not look to forces outside yourself for answers and the way. You already know the way. And if you think you don't, you will know who to ask for the truth and they will remind you.

A time is coming when what was held as truth will be revealed as false. There will be resistance and there will be chaos. There will be endings. But know that you know what is true and do not doubt your own wisdom. It will carry you through everything, unscathed.

Be kind to yourself. Make taking care of your own needs your first priority. Do not mistake this for selfishness. It is the opposite. If you can consistently meet your own needs, you are then able to act, with love, on the behalf of others. More love is needed. Self-care is what brings more love to light. Do your part and bring it.

Trust yourself. Mother yourself. Feast on this glorious life.

52 Photos Project~ December 7th

2011-12-07T04:00:00.001-05:00

The color of the season is white candlelight.

{on my mother's German tree}

For Bella

All 4 issues of my magazine, The Soul In Bloom,
are $2 off the regular price now through December 31st!
Go HERE for a preview and to purchase.

The Soul In Bloom~ winter issue 2011/2012

2011-12-01T21:00:00.001-05:00

Having set out earlier in the year to create and publish 4 seasonal keepsake magazines, today I release the 4th issue to the winds. The Soul In Bloom winter issue is done and ready for purchase. I admit to being just a bit proud of myself for finishing this personal challenge. It was larger for me than you know.

The winter issue is not about the holidays. It is about the call of the season of rest to honor the Self. It is about the great need for each of us to care for ourselves, madly and deeply, as the only true path to changing the ills of the world and improving the quality of our individual lives.

As with the other 3 magazines in this collection, all the essays, poems and photographs are my original work. To celebrate my accomplished goal of putting my heart out into the world 4 times over, all 4 magazines are $2 less per issue through December 31st. $14.95 each becomes $12.95 each.

Thank you to everyone, absolutely everyone, who encouraged me this year, bought a copy (sometimes multiples!) and gave me the most heartwarming feedback I could never have imagined. I created these magazines because we all need to know how glorious we are, we all need to know we are miracles.

To purchase a copy of the winter issue or any of the other 3, go HERE to sign up.

Thank you to the moon and back to Kelly Letky of The Blue Muse for her graphic design and publishing software savvy. Without her, my dream would not have come true.

{And the little guy with the snow shovel on the cover? That's my Dad at age 3.}

the art installation

2011-11-30T04:00:00.001-05:00

in the spirit of removing falseness from my life, the vile and crappy fake paneling i have lived with in this rented home was spontaneously ripped off the walls the other day. my bare-handed wonder friend, lisa, ripped all the paneling off. i broke it up and carried it, piece by piece, out the door.

what was left? 3 layers of seedy wallpaper, dried splotches and drips of coffee that had been thrown at the wall and streaks of brown goo that had held the offending paneling in place.

good enough.

the vacuum came out, the furniture was replaced, the orchard ladder went back on the wall, and fairy lights were re-strung.

it feels like living in an art installation.

only 2 spare things will grace the ladder while i ponder the wall's next attire. 2 little works of art from 2 soul-filled women who sent messages to me in the mail~ messages to fly and live in my truth.

thank you, kelly letky, for the original photo of my favorite great blue heron.
thank you, christine mason miller, for the oracle card you painted and picked just for me.

thank you, most of all, to lisa. because true friends help to banish the false and expose the beauty with in. brown stains and all.

{For Bella~ and her weekly art installation called 52 Photos Project. "Twinkling Lights." }

finding my way there

2011-11-25T13:37:00.001-05:00

i opened the carefully pleated rectangle of foil to reveal the ooze of red and cherries and flattened crust. i ate it with no ceremony standing at the counter, scraping the foil with my fork to get the last smear of ooze. it was leftover heaven on a warm and windy late fall day; a day more suited to october than the cusp of december.

everything means something to me and the meaning is more than likely tinged with the ethereal. i think of this late warmth, a gift for the northern dweller, and equate it with the opportunity to do just a little bit more before the hibernation begins. and the more for me takes the form of noticing instincts and natural urges, of seeing the old doorways and not-empty bell towers of dreams i've been too timid to embrace. those dreams are demanding attention in this 56 degree wind, begging to be blown open and set in firm soil like necessary seeds of spring.

full of leftover pie and rusted keys in my hand, i step into the wind and search for the door, ethereal bells ringing with each gust. these old dreams are of home and all that it means and of never yet finding my way there.

but i want to be there and set my other dreams down there and feel what it is, live deep what it is to be unshakably and forever at home.

the way of things

2011-11-21T18:00:00.003-05:00

the way of things came to my window. and i looked in its eyes, living and dead. the red tail hawk, announced by blue jays,was level with me on its perch. messenger of life-purpose and fruition, it arrived to confirm just that, and it stayed longer than i could have hoped.

looking to the grass below the tree, i saw why i was afforded such grace. a squirrel. likely the one i had seen out the back window, now dead out the front. the hawk never found safe passage to the lawn to claim its meal. spooked, it flew across the way to the tallest pine. i waited, curtains pulled back, but the bustle on the road forfeited the prize. i carried the prize by its tail, limp body bobbing to the rhythm of my walk, and laid it under the pine. come dark, the owl will be hungry.

back to the window and in pulled the truck of the man who lives below. she was gutted and dead in its bed. i went to look at her eye. it took only 10 yards for her to drop, he said. unlike the 2 bucks that did not drop and left blood trails to no where. i did not mask my wince and my whine, but refrained from unfavorable comment. i threw prayers up to the sky for the one in the bed and the 2 that leaked blood through the leaves. i could feel her fear and anguish rise from her body and crawl over my skin.

i went back up to the window, as this is the way of things.

golden moments

2011-11-20T10:33:00.003-05:00

there are golden moments on the fringe of the turning point~

they are subtle and easily overlooked in the frenzy

and anticipation of the great, next happening,

the great, next way of being.

if you stop and look, you can sense the last

messages of the season your soul is moving through.

you can feel the forecast of things to come,

and you can understand the beauty
and necessity of what has been.

it has all been beautiful and necessary.

in the golden moments, brief and full,

gratitude can plum its depths and

soften the next season to come.

simpler times

2011-11-13T10:15:00.000-05:00

let these be simpler times.

let the heart spin with the clockwise tide.

let the ground be firm and nourishing.

like the bones of the trees revealed,

soul is dancing forward,

fresh and formed in the waning light;

a silhouette of possibility.

like the leaf mush begging for snow

to bury what has been,

molecular magic will break life down

to the essential and the good.

in these, the simpler times.

fullness in nothingness

2011-11-08T18:00:00.004-05:00

i don't know what is happening. excess and waste are appalling me. i crave simplicity and clean lines. clear understanding. fullness in nothingness. my words are sparse. long essays, gone.

i have bought nothing. nothing but food and four dollar magazines. gasoline. herbal supplements. allergy sensitive cat food. rose petal tea. just the bare basics.

i don't know what is happening. i want to, need to be outside. all the time. i stand on the loading dock at lunch time with the smokers just to feel the sun on my face. i wear hiking boots everyday; fashion is out the window. except scarves. i wear scarves. they are my uniform. i don't know if they are in fashion. it doesn't matter. if they don't look good with hiking boots it doesn't matter.

birds and horses and cats and moving water. and taking photographs. hundreds and hundreds of photographs. in a week. like a crazy person. but i am not. these are the obsessions that rise as simplicity informs my days. no, demands my days. i don't know what is happening.

yet.

the less i have, want, get~ the more of me i find. in the fullness of nothingness.

i remember what is true

2011-11-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

in the season of harvest and waning

i have come alive.

i remember the richness and roots of my soul.

i remember what is true.

there is pungent earth~

leaf mold, cooling soil and the

indescribable smell of flowing creek.

it is firm.

it is under my feet, grounding.

i begin again before the end.

Wildness

2011-11-05T08:53:00.000-04:00

Truth. Clarity. Joy. Wildness.

My wish for me.

Let it be.

{Harris Hawk. October, 2011}

52 Photos Project~ November 2nd

2011-11-02T06:54:00.000-04:00

The beauty of fall flowers,

from first stage to last.

Nature is my treat.

{For Bella}

And thank you, Bella, for featuring me

this week on your Just 1 Picture project.

All Hallow's Eve

2011-10-31T15:12:00.000-04:00

Nothing says scary like lamb costumes for grown women.

May the spirits be with you.

leaf and stone

2011-10-30T14:09:00.000-04:00

it was a peaceful morning walking with the dead.

i can see them from my window.

today, in the soft october light they beckoned.

mighty yellow leaves and the blue sky of dreams

sheltered and lit their sorrows.

there must have been sorrows.

ruth, wife of henry, you left days before 49.

grace and arthur~

you barely skimmed the surface;

do you remember this earth?

and fannie.

you came and went in 17 months.

your sister after you in 34 months.

your brother after her in 16 months.

how did your mother survive?

but, fannie, that was 146 years ago.

i hope you came again and lived a full life.

i hope you walked with yellow leaves and stone.

i hope you found out for yourself

that amid the small tragedies of living

the blue sky of dreams is shelter and wildness at once.

52 Photos Project~ October 26th

2011-10-26T13:07:00.000-04:00

The Octagon House here in Mayberry

...Because there are always many sides to a story.

"Look Up"~ for Bella

come to the edge

2011-10-25T04:00:00.004-04:00

going beyond the barriers to get the good view.

water and trees. my favorite.

i can almost see them

2011-10-24T09:56:00.000-04:00

doors close, one upon another.

there is no going back.

i don't want to.

time will tell if it was wasted.

or if simply more character needed to be built.

i will not see you and you and you again.

but, thank you.

i await the windows.

pain forming panes that fly open,

sunshine and glory streaming through.

answers. freedom. purpose. life.

the little birds are leaving.

the owls will come.

i can almost see them.

52 Photos Project~ October 19th

2011-10-19T04:00:00.002-04:00

Autumn colors, Western New York

~ for Bella

The Soul In Bloom is on sale!

25% off until October 31st.

wind and water

2011-10-17T19:54:00.000-04:00

safe in the roots of the sitting tree,

i sat with wind at the edge of water.

there was shifting and change.

it was cold.

do not be uneasy with the changes,

said the sitting tree to me.

if everything were to leave you,

if you feel you are alone

and cast off,

you are not.

you are safe in the winds and

the turbulent waters,

for your anchor, your roots

lie not outside,

they begin and end in your soul.

The Soul In Bloom~ gratitude

2011-10-14T22:29:00.003-04:00

page 45

The Soul In Bloom is on sale!!
25% off October 17th through the 31st!

"I've been savoring my copy of soul in bloom ~

Graciel, honestly... it is just gorgeous.

The quality, the photos, the intimate words.

I love it - and I thought you should know

that I think you've created something magical."

Bella

"Your magazine moved me to tears - and I don't cry very much."

Emmy

"My mom asked me to thank you for the magazine,
she absolutely loves it!"

Kelly

Thank you to the many dear souls who have taken a chance on

my 3rd issue of The Soul In Bloom.
Thank you for the generous praise.

Thank you for sharing this issue with your friends and family.

You have all made my heart immensely full.

And you give me strength to do more.

To purchase a copy of the Autumn, Summer or Spring issues of

The Soul In Bloom, go HERE to sign up.

Should you have any difficulties in the signing up process

(it can happen, ask my Mom), send me an email at

evenstarart@gmail.com and we'll figure out how to get a copy to your door.

Art in the Yellow Woods

2011-10-11T21:20:00.000-04:00

the real art, the yellow art,

was not made by the hands of man.

Ready Or Not

2011-10-09T20:06:00.000-04:00

I remember the time I knew everything. It was such a short time, that brief blip in history, when I understood and I could explain. But then age advanced; more chemicals laced my hair, collagen began collapsing and people I knew started dying. It was when the dying began that I understood I knew practically nothing at all.

Today, I learn of the passing of a good, good man. He celebrated his 54th birthday and died, unexpectedly, the very next day. Platitudes masked as well meaning wisdom haven't a place in this scene. In fact, there is nothing to say. The wisdom, if there is any, lies in the honoring of emotions and a deep and abiding inventory of what there is to be grateful for. There is also the vow to use whatever wisdom I think I may have to get on with it. To unfurl. To bloom as big as I can, ready or not.

The Obession Continues, part 2

2011-10-08T21:11:00.000-04:00

blue ribbon farms percherons

I am afraid of horses. And I am mesmerized by the largest of their kind. I cannot explain this sudden desire, this need, to be near them, to learn what this wagon-hitch business is about.

Lisa and me, we are bitten and smitten. We are willing to travel to get the next fix. So we went one state east and found joy unimaginable in the ring. Then after, finding the barns, (the barns!) and melting into the background watching, watching the dismantling of giants.

Somewhere in the tangle of hoof and wheel and harness is the message of power. Of companionship. Of teamwork. Of happiness that cannot be explained, and yet must be followed unblinking. It is the message of new worlds to be explored and reverence, sweet reverence for the pull of the natural world.

The Obession Continues, part 1

2011-10-08T20:14:00.000-04:00

belgians

percherons

10 teams x 6~ wouldn't fit in the frame...

18 teams of 6 draft horses each competing

for the $30,000 first prize at the

Eastern States Exposition

in Springfield, Massachusetts,

October, 2011.

52 Photos Project~ October 5th

2011-10-05T04:00:00.000-04:00

Spinning Circles~ for Bella

bringing happy back

2011-09-30T21:46:00.001-04:00

in which the tears are exchanged for 2 ton beasts,
bejeweled and bejangled,

bringing the house down with hoof-stomping majesty.

nothing beats a big horse for bringing happy back.

naturally, there will be pictures.

Bait and Shoot

2011-09-27T21:57:00.002-04:00

mother bear~ Lily

Hope as a cub in 2010

Hope and baby bear sister, Faith~ July 2011

Lily the black bear, of Ely, Minnesota, has been a facebook sensation since January of 2010 when she gave birth to a single female cub. The cub was named Hope, and along with Lily, she became a part of the North American Bear Center's scientific research. Lily and Hope had a camera placed in the entrance to their den until they emerged from hibernation in the spring of 2010. 24 hour viewing and daily facebook page updates on how they were doing made them beloved by thousands...over 132,000 on facebook alone. Incredible amounts of information about the gentle nature of black bears was gleaned.

Winter 2011 found Hope denning once again with her mother, Lily. A den camera was in place to observe Lily giving birth to twin cubs and the subsequent family relations between mother bear, juvenile and new cubs. It was awe inspiring. Elementary schools around America followed the adventures of the 4 black bears, learning about wildlife in a manner previously unavailable. The male cub died, but the female cub, Faith, survived and thrived. Lily and her girls have been teaching a great number of us that the ferocious black bear stereotype is false; that they are gentle, shy creatures with strong family bonds.

Along with my friend, Lisa, I have been watching the winter den cameras, checking the spring, summer and fall videos of the bears and reading the daily updates on facebook. We have the Lily and Hope t-shirts and mugs to prove it. Silly or not, these bears have become a part of our lives.

It was confirmed today that Hope was baited and shot on September 16th by a hunter who set up his bait station in Lily's territory, knowing it was her territory, knowing her family's popularity and importance to scientific research. Hope is dead. And she will be eaten.

I am angry and I am crying.

{Bear photos are from www.bear.org.}

On September 28th, an update from the facebook page for Lily The Black Bear read:

Lily did something during the night that moved us to tears. She went on a tear, moving miles in such a short time that she must have been running most of the time. She covered much of her territory and beyond before returning to her starting place where she probably had left Faith. We have never seen anything like this before. The only explanation we can think of is the obvious one, given recent circumstances. What must be going through her mind? We wish we had been there to see it in person—to see if she was grunting and tongue-clicking as mothers do when they look for lost cubs. Lily had spent an unusually long time mothering Hope. Was this a last search before she gives up and settles into a den? Although we questioned whether the GPS locations were possible, they followed in a line that was not erratic.

52 Photos Project~ September 21st

2011-09-21T04:00:00.001-04:00

RED for Bella's 52 Photo's project

BLUE

GREEN

ORANGE

Open your heart to Nature and color comes flooding in.

Red is for Bella.

The Autumn issue of The Soul In Bloom is here!

Have you ordered your copy yet?

The Soul In Bloom~ autumn issue

2011-09-16T19:56:00.003-04:00

autumn issue cover

behind the scenes

with mr. inquisitive

edited out at the last minute

This is the issue that gives me the strength to self promote. This issue is for people, especially women, who are on a soul-changing journey through illness, cancer or levels of despair. It is also for the people who love them. As I am finding out myself, to assist another in transcending illness, hopefully back to health, or to the threshold of death's door is a sacred task and a journey all its own. Illness of any kind is a group effort in need of support. This issue, wrapped in the splendor of autumn and comforting words, is my wish and my gift of support for any and all who might need it.

I finished the bulk of the editing and organizing of this magazine just over 3 weeks ago at the kitchen table of my Aunt. She was in her last stages of ovarian cancer.We spent the day together in what turned out to be one of her last days of conversation. We were frank and unafraid. I was irrevocably changed. She died one week later at hospice. This issue is dedicated to her and my Uncle. The local hospice, for their care, will receive copies of this issue as my thank you, with hopes it might give some one comfort.

This issue is about courage and change and healing and death and life. All of it is life. All of it sacred and beautiful. And in the end, there is no ending, for love goes on and on.

To purchase a copy of The Soul In Bloom~ autumn issue for yourself or someone in need of support, go HERE. Simply create an account at Magcloud.com. Payment is with credit card or Paypal.

wet peaches and pie

2011-09-12T12:00:00.001-04:00

there were blue jays alarming and peaches in the sun. it was the time after death when life offers itself to be lived anew. i am not famous in the kitchen. there are meals i've never made. but in honor of life and the great need to soar, i peeled the peaches and baked a pie. my first.

it was a meditation of sorts, the peeling and the stickiness and the reading 3 recipes to conjure a filling i thought to be right. it was the 4th recipe, read after the pie was in the oven, that warned of not letting the peaches sit before pouring into the shell. i had let them sit.

the dough, store bought, was too small for the dish, guaranteeing an unflattering crimp. it took longer to bake than seemed reasonable. when it had cooled by the window and the knife slit its skin, the smell was a cinnamoned perfume of late summer. and it was a swamp.

i had 2 hearty slices of wet peaches and pie. it was astoundingly delicious, but fit for no one but me. the remaining three quarters i threw away, craving and curiosity satisfied.

it was the time after death; the time for newness and wet peaches and soaring back into life.

mouse matters

2011-09-08T04:00:00.002-04:00

i came home, laden with farm market spoils , and there she was in the center of the path to the door. i could tell something was wrong. she was wobbly. i dropped my spoils and bent to ask her what was troubling her. she had been bitten. oh, sweetheart, i'm so sorry. i scooped her up in both hands, her tiny face peeking out between my thumbs. i whispered about how she pretty she was and how sorry i was she was hurt. i carried her to the edge of the ivy patch and set her down on a leaf. she shivered, but stayed and listened to me tell her to come back next time as a cat.

after a time, i gave her a feather-light pet between her ears and she crawled away under the ivy.

the little details of life that cross our paths, they matter.

52 Photos Project~ September 7th

2011-09-07T11:17:00.000-04:00

My quiet place, my place to recover sanity and life?

Always outside.

Mother Nature is the ultimate Shaman and Healer.

While I am where I am,

the Sitting Tree by the creek

is my sanctuary.

For Bella's 52 Photos Project

the draft marathon~ 4 horse hitch

2011-09-05T13:09:00.000-04:00

dappled grey percherons~ swoon!

driver dressed to match the drafts

32 drafts at once

winner!

clydesdale 4 hitch

size and scale of a giant

the draft marathon ~ 6 horse hitch

2011-09-05T12:44:00.001-04:00

belgian wash

belgian 6-hitch

clydesdale 6~hitch

30 drafts at once

clydesdales~ the winner!

percheron 6-hitch

it was the antidote to a troubling time. she and i, hungry for adventure, took a road trip to the new york state fair. it was draft horse day and we went to be awed. we were. we sat in section 22 on hard metal benches in unmoving 90 degree air. we glistened and let sweat trickle where it may. it mattered not. the size and the numbers of equine splendor, those giants, kept us riveted for close to 10 hours. we were crazy, yet not.

at 2,200 pounds apiece, they are magical beasts.

the messenger bats

2011-09-02T20:43:00.008-04:00

her pond, the last day i saw her.

the 3 backyard bats are out early tonight,

flitting in front of the chunk of a moon.

I hear the high school marching band

practicing under the lights.

i sit on the bench, watching the bats,

rocking back and forth.

we buried her today.

ovarian cancer won.

she lost and we lost

and there has been a flood of tears.

the messenger bats, they promise renewal.

{The pain is done, Dear Linda. Sweet relief has come.}

come to niagara with me

2011-08-31T20:17:00.000-04:00

right next to the horseshoe falls

maid of the mist from above

the rainbow bridge~ canada on left, u.s. on right

on the maid of the mist

one of many rainbows

look how close to the horseshoe falls!

you will get soaked

u.s. on left, canada on right

the american falls

if you have never been to niagara falls,

if you have never been transformed by this majesty of nature,

if you've never been soaked in the mist,

this is for you.

forks and the next magazine

2011-08-26T19:28:00.000-04:00

I'm obsessed with tarnishing forks, yet none of the many, too many, fork still-lifes I've photographed made the cut. I'm finishing the last details of my autumn Soul In Bloom magazine and the forks have no where to be inside the pages. The pages are about illness and healing and worth and death. And life. There is rich color, as autumn is wont to display, and words to ease and soothe the soul.

I have experience with illness, personal and next of kin. As I finish this edition, my Aunt is in her last stages of ovarian cancer. I spent a recent day with her in anguish and grace. I learned 10 years of wisdom in 10 and a half hours. She helped me choose a barn photograph to include. It will appear on the back cover. This edition is dedicated to her and my Uncle. It is unlikely my Aunt will see it.

The autumn edition is my most personal. It is filled with the essence of the women in my life who have journeyed through difficult times, my Aunt and Mother included. Just now, I realize it is a magazine meant for women in need, and the men and women who support them. It is my hope this edition will find its way into the hands of those who need to know they are not alone.

The autumn edition of The Soul In Bloom magazine

will be available by mid-September.

The Sleeping Porch

2011-08-21T18:35:00.000-04:00

I went back to the porch

and the bed and the lake.

Somewhere in the ink of the night

it thundered and rained.

Cocooned in blankets,

paradise came.

transformation called

2011-08-19T05:56:00.000-04:00

she parted company with her old ways.

and off she went.

sail away, part 2

2011-08-14T16:20:00.000-04:00

lover of heights, lover of birds,

for me, there was nothing better than this.

sail away, part 1

2011-08-14T16:08:00.000-04:00

a dream lifts off.

towed up to the clouds

set loose

the sail plane pilot.

free bird.

coming down, smiling wide.

in the latest rough patch

of my mother's journey with cancer,

i asked her to make a list.

we had made it to germany earlier in the year.

what else did she want to do,

where else did she want to go,

who did she want to see?

"i want to go for a sail plane ride," she said.

so we went.

and we flew.

dreams came true.

52 Photos Project~ August 10th

2011-08-10T04:00:00.001-04:00

Because they were just a little bit creepy,

those disembodied heads on tin foil

at Lieselotte's Puppenstubchen.

The reflection was a wonderful bonus.

May, 2011~ Husum, Germany

Reflection:

For Bella's weekly prompt

at 52 Photos Project

rise to the light

2011-08-08T21:38:00.000-04:00

the last moments before she splits herself in two

and rises to the light on transparent green wings.

let it be known~ transformation cometh.

there were birds

2011-08-07T16:39:00.001-04:00

As the years pass by,

life gets harder and easier to bear.

What was known while youth still had its bloom~

known with absolute conviction~

is found, now, to be vastly untrue.

Or maybe true~

but only from an angle not willingly seen

when slick confidence ruled the day.

There were birds in the shine

and vigor of earlier times.

They were closely observed,

fascinated over,

and bore messages from lesser gods.

Those messages were clear.

Until they were not.

The birds became pale against leaf and sky

until they all but vanished from view.

When life got harder.

Now, it is harder, yet easier.

The birds are back.

Clusters of sparrows,
arrows of swallows.

Cardinals and robins

out-doing each other in song.

Crows, speaking in tongues.

A green heron in flight,

woodpeckers drumming and diving.

All are seen from the less-sure angle,
the one that takes time and patience to glean.

Their habits are recalled,

their feathers known.

Yet, the only message heard

in the hard and the easy is

live life from the earth and the sky.

making hay

2011-08-04T04:00:00.001-04:00

it's been a month of fascination with hay.

from the tractors to the wagons,

to the fields and the barns,

i haven't been able to turn away.

and i haven't known why.

surely there's a message in the adage

"make hay while the sun shines".

the sun has shone, hot and dry,

and the hay season has lingered,

long and bountiful.

then today, i understand.

the next bad news about my mother's

journey with cancer came in the

middle of hay season.

the bad news caused us to

make a list of wishes and

plan how to make them come true~

while our season of fields

and bountiful dreams

still shine in the lingering sun.

52 Photos Project~ August 3rd

2011-08-03T04:00:00.001-04:00

Rusted

For 52 Photos Project

field trip~ 5 and dime

2011-08-02T09:05:00.001-04:00

sadly, i was too big for the 10 cent pony ride.

i pick up things that have died

2011-07-28T20:09:00.000-04:00

i am in touch with nature.

the living and the dead.

i pick up things that have died.

with my hands.

like the cat, yesterday,

that lay in the center of buffalo street

with its head completely soaked in blood.

it had died hours before i found it,

cars and people having passed it by.

it was just shy of stiff

and i took it by the tail,

apologizing, apologizing

for its difficult death.

it was loved by someone.

it existed.

it mattered.

so it went to the nearest lawn, gently.

i saw the color of blood, still wet,

on fur and asphalt~

the same color as black raspberries

just before they turn ripe.

and the dragonfly, also dead,

held lightly between my fingers.

i saw the cellophane wings

that shimmer the rainbow across

their panes when held to the light of the sun.

52 Photos Project~ July 27th

2011-07-27T06:00:00.001-04:00

it fell apart in the heat on the way to the gathering.

(snort!)

as if that mattered.

"Chocolate" for 52 Photos Project

the black cat sings

2011-07-26T10:13:00.001-04:00

The mischief maker, he's worried. Render of window screens,chewer of cardboard, destroyer of lamps~ his bravado flies out the tear in the screen when the carrier sits at the door, poised for entrapment to the vet.

He'll cry like a baby the whole way there. He'll cry louder when we arrive. He'll scold me the whole way home.

But, no matter. I'll gladly take his fuss and live with his exuberant destruction.

He grounds me, you see, especially in times of trouble.

And these are times of trouble, filled with impending loss.

Yet, there is gain to be found in the small moments of each day~ the breeze and the pillars of clouds; the rabbit that hops close thinking I am part of the scene; the hummingbird that mistakes my pink shirt for a flower; the cat~ at home once more, in a different window~ crying to me of his supposed neglect.

There is no trouble. Loss has not come. The black cat sings.

Tucked in to these moments~ the small, small moments~ gain and goodness abound.

The Bloom and The Interview

2011-07-25T16:18:00.000-04:00

"I just got the summer issue of Soul in Bloom in the mail today.

Stunning! Whimsical! Inspiring! And that's just the photos!

Can't wait to find some quiet time to spend with it.

Thank you again for your gift of creativity."

Cathy

A heartfelt thank you to everyone who took a chance

on my summer issue of The Soul In Bloom.

If you'd like a copy of your own,

you can find it HERE.

And the lovely Bella of 52 Photos Project

asked me to be her photography interview for the week!

I'm thrilled and honored. Thank you, Bella!

To read the interview, go HERE.

52 Photos Project~ July 20th

2011-07-20T04:00:00.001-04:00

"The table at mealtime" for 52 photos project.

Of course, I'm cheating.

This is no table setting of the week for me.

No surface that has held my food of late

~ the floor, the counter top, the computer desk~

is worth documenting or sharing.

They're barely clean, those make-shift tables.

And what's so interesting about

carrots and blueberries and nuts?

No, let me cheat and show you a table

I dined at almost 2 years ago

on the edge of the Marmara sea.

A table that made a memory and held a fantasy

and changed the course of my days.

52 Photos Project~ July 13th

2011-07-13T04:00:00.001-04:00

My new favorite summertime treat.

Bellowing bullfrogs and

sleeping alfresco at the edge of the lake.

I'm headed back for more.

For Bella's 52 Photos Project~ summertime treat.

blue and black

2011-07-11T15:44:00.000-04:00

Again, it was morning.

There was me and my tea,

the birdsong and the ceiling of blue.

There were 8 crows and a ruckus,

and gravestones across the way.

There was death amid the already dead.

They were at it once more,

that heart-tugging ritual of sacrificing

another baby for their own.

It was a chipmunk or a rabbit

that was tormented and shredded

while a look-out stood watch from a stone.

I did not turn away.

It was morning.

The sky was blue

and the feathers were black

And there was life.

the way

2011-07-10T09:49:00.001-04:00

The robin and me, we shared a succulent breakfast in the early hours of the day. Black raspberries have taken root at the edge of the yard~ all their own doing~ and they have multiplied, as gifts from the gods tend to do. And gifts they be, each honey-combed berry morphing from green to red to eggplant purple. They are a burst of nectar on the tongue, said the robin. They are subtle sweetness. They are reward.

They are also the way, for they are nature, and nature leads should we humble ourselves to follow. The way is letting go, is releasing what has been to allow the birth of the next phase in the full cycle of life. The seed must let go of its casing in fertile ground. The bud must release itself to the bloom. The bloom must shed its beauty to bear fruit. The fruit must give forth its seed to fertile ground for the sake of the vine, the stalk and the tree.

It is the death of each phase that gives birth to the new. Holding a phase, a season, longer than the sun and the wind would advise leads only to stagnation and rot of potential, however safe it may feel to be held. In the letting go lies the gift. The next phase will be vastly different from the one before and will hold its own rare beauty in ways impossible to predict.

The robin, she knows of letting go and takes her rewards as they come. I will humble myself to follow and hold open my heart to the gifts of the seed, the bloom and the fruit.

52 Photos Project~ July 6th

2011-07-06T06:59:00.000-04:00

What the garden revealed.

For Bella and her 52 Photos Project.

Lit on the 4th of July

2011-07-05T12:47:00.000-04:00

stress management

2011-06-29T19:26:00.002-04:00

with apologies to anyone within earshot of me,

i can't seem to help myself.

stress management has taken on a life of its own.

i can't stop swearing.

and it isn't the polite form of swearing in public

like,"oh, crap" and the occasional "dammit".

no, it's the drunken truck-driving sailor type.

the kind that can get me fired and

in a heap of trouble in an instant,

especially if mothers are easily offended.

i can't seem to help it.

i'm sorry.

but it feels really, really good.

it's hard to say if the amish were aghast

at my mouth the other day.

but they should have been,

what with all the profanity being spewed

every time i let the perfect photo dissolve into oblivion.

lisa, my amish-country companion,

seemed to appreciate my tirades of expletives,

even as she was advising me to swear more quietly,

lest we be barred from following the amish trail ever again.

all the swearing led to the laughing that completely

renewed our brains from the enhanced oxygen intake.

and any stress that either of us had felt for,

oh, the past year, was relieved.

so, forgive me.

plug your ears.

in the world of stress management,

swearing is the new meditation.

off the map in amish country

2011-06-27T21:36:00.004-04:00

there was hay and horses.

there was blue and white laundry

strung across porches and lawns.

there were jars of jam

and wooden toys

and hand sewn quilts.

there was me with my camera

and the irrepressible urge to take photos.

but the amish don't like themselves to be photographed.

i didn't want to be invasive or disrespectful.

i failed on a few accounts.

because when, when do you see

hay being harvested by hand and horse?

but the discreet and distant photos

are nothing, nothing compared to the

shots i didn't take~

the ones of the barefoot toddlers in bonnets

and short brown dresses

that waved from their gardens.

the matching boys in blue shirts and hats

walking together along the dirt road.

the 2 women in blue skirts and bonnets with the toddler~

a miniature version of themselves~

in a perfect triangle on their open buggy

in front of the perfectly weathered barn

where blue laundry soared above their heads,

strung from the house to the top of the silo.

it was an impromptu masterpiece

of texture and placement for the taking.

and i left it.

i left it.

with admitted artist's regret mixed in the respect.

Raising the Stakes

2011-06-26T12:34:00.002-04:00

Good bye, Neil. Good bye, Sir Elton. Farewell, Hot Tuna. Janis. David. Stephen. Graham. It's time to shift out of neutral and you're all taking up valuable space. I know, I know, we spent years in each others company. You all fed my soul when it was starving. And I've hung on, out of gratitude and sentimentality, but it's time. Forgive me. This is good bye.

It's not that technology left you all quickly in the dust. I still have the means to access your magic. I still know how to sift through songs on fast-forward. But I don't.You know it's been years since I have. And that drawer you all live in? It's being re-purposed. Because, you see, I'm raising the stakes. I'm envisioning freshness, I'm leaning towards passion, I'm putting up with less bullshit and I need your drawer. It's part of my plan to purge the staleness and sameness and servant's attitude out of my valuable life. I hope you understand.

No, no you did not see me stash those bootleg cassettes in a secret corner. I promise, I swear Jerry and Bobby and Phil are headed out the door right behind you all. They're as good as dead. (No, that is NOT smoke you smell. My pants are NOT on fire.) Yet.

I tell you, I'm lifting and lightening. I'm going to let the (freak) flag fly. It's what you taught me to do, all those years ago.

Forgive me.

I'm burning it down to raise it back up.

the god of yellow

2011-06-24T19:31:00.001-04:00

I pray to the god of yellow. It is my least favorite god. We have avoided each other for a lifetime. But now, right now, this god and only this god can save me. From myself.

The yellow god is instructing me on the ways and means of personal power and the un-importance of gaining approval from outside sources. It is assisting me in making firm decisions on pivotal issues. It is teaching me how to be my own sun.

The god of yellow is a warrior. I have been a servant, serving myself least of all. But the sword of self-empowerment is being fitted to my grip. Inscribed on the handle of the yellow sword are the words, "Know thyself without shame".

I carry yellow and I wear yellow and I tape its vibration to my walls. I visualize myself infused with the radiance of ripe lemons. In that citrus glow, esteem rises, things get done and the sword of the god of yellow feels light in my hands.

{Yellow snuck its way into the summer edition of The Soul In Bloom. The god is quite pleased and proud.}

The Soul In Bloom~ summer issue

2011-06-20T11:37:00.001-04:00

It's here. It's ready.

Just as spring says good-bye and summer arrives.

This is a labor of love.

This magazine has been a balancing point

for me in an unsteady year.

All the essays I included between the covers are

needful reminders for me on how to keep my spirit buoyant.

My wish is that they will offer the same for you.

The photos, all original, are filled with color,

as summer ought to be.

I've featured my beloved stray cats from Istanbul, and flowers.

Always flowers.

I design with them for a living, you see,

and in this issue, I've begun to share the relaxing

pleasures of making a centerpiece right from your garden.

This summer issue of The Soul In Bloom is the second

in a series of four keepsake magazines.

This series evolved from my deep desire

to add beauty to this world,

and to encourage one of the most

beautiful expressions of nature~

the compassionate human spirit.

I would be honored of you felt compelled to buy a copy.

I would be thankful if you shared this

information with anyone that matters to you.

To purchase a copy of The Soul In Bloom,

the spring and/or summer issue,

go HERE.

{Thank you to the talented Kelly Letky
of The Blue Muse for her outstanding
graphic design assistance in making this
issue everything I wanted it to be.}

zoo therapy

2011-06-16T02:00:00.000-04:00

For our mother-daughter mental health day,

she wore her shirt with the giraffes on it.

And she cried happy tears just to see them.

52 Photos Project~ 6/15

2011-06-15T08:38:00.002-04:00

Outside the window
at my favorite church
in northern Germany,

"the little church by the sea".

For Bella's 52 Photos Project

happy is what i need

2011-06-14T08:21:00.007-04:00

The honey bees and me.

We've been busy.

There is still much to do.

Indecision and messes abound.

But in the whirlwind,

late, yet hopefully on time,

a magazine was created about

the glories of summer.

I like it.

It makes me happy.

Happy is what I need.

If the proof proves worthy,

I'll release it to the winds.

And to you,

if that would make you happy.

Coming soon~ The Soul In Bloom, summer issue.

the iris are done blooming

2011-06-13T11:14:00.000-04:00

It was a blue fleece and bare toes morning.

Rose petal tea and a bench in the backyard.

Cool for summer, perfect for me.

Dogs barking, school buses dieseling their last duties

before the kids are set free.

Cobalt skies. A breeze.

The drowsy squirrel who perched on the

edge of a broken limb to watch me and to bathe.

I waved and offered a blessing~

be safe, be warm, be fed.

The iris are done blooming,

and the robin's nest went undetected by crows,

leaving the little speckled breast to

race across rooftops twittering for food.

The raucous call of blue jays.

More squirrels, chasing each other on tip-toe

over the points of the picket fence.

The scent of June~sweet, earthy, satisfying.

And then,the red belly.

Laughing in flight between the trees,

pronouncing that all will be well

and all will be well.

And so, did goodness begin.

rain

2011-06-04T14:34:00.000-04:00

i confess.

i like the rain.

no.

i love the rain.

in spring, in summer.

especially in summer

with the added peace and thrill of thunder mumbling through.

the flashes of light that split the sky, they too,

bring a sharp sense of peace that

grounds me and lifts me at once.

it is the patter of rain,

with its uneven pallor and distant scent of the lake,

that gives me permission, like little else can,

to sink gloriously, lavishly

into the secret caverns of my soul

where everything makes sense

and life in its sweet purity can be lived.

because tucked into a dry space,

porch-vast or umbrella-small,

just on the edge of the drops,

shoe-tips spattered with wet, shins still dry,

safe yet almost not,

there does joy overtake me.

there, yes there~

i am.

to witness and embrace

2011-05-31T14:05:00.001-04:00

to the 2 deer that stood in the middle of road and the red fox that crossed it a little further on, to the lilacs still blooming, to the rolling green grasses of western new york state, to the summer-tinged breeze and the tangerine ball of fire that hung on the edge of the hills, i thank you, one and all.

my heart thanks you. my soul thanks you. collectively, you have done nothing short of restoring my understanding of what i love best; to witness and embrace the beauty of the natural world.

and so today, i can return to the projects that stir me, and work them just for me. i can smile as i drip in the sudden heat. i can breathe to the floor of my gut. i can remember the gestures of love.

let glimpses become steady sight

2011-05-30T10:14:00.000-04:00

little church face, northern germany

i have not known whether to stay or go. there is turmoil and there is uncertainty and yes, nothing is certain. there is doing for others and there is the almost-loss of self in that doing. balance has tipped to the left. i forget who i am and wonder, if indeed i ever knew. i catch glimpses of my soul, lit and luscious, and i run towards that light like a woman being chased. but the glimpse is pulled sharply into shadows and i remember i have forgotten how to shine just for me. how to shine just for me.

i start projects and get tangled in wanting to please and do right and make a difference and i forget that the only difference that matters is if my own soul is pleased. it is hard to unlearn the giving away and the silent begging for approval. it is hard to stand straight in my own truth and my own version of justice and peace. i slouch so much i know very well what crawls on the ground and so little of what flies overhead. look up, i say, look up. then, look straight ahead and shun the advice, well-meaning and bad, from voices along the parade route.

everything comes together in the allegiance to my self. i have forgotten that pledge, but today is as good as any other to remember. to start over on those projects and stay. to start over and go, as well. let glimpses become steady sight. let the pleasing be just for me.

evening rehearsal

2011-05-23T11:23:00.000-04:00

When you stay with an accordion player,

there's bound to be a little music in the air.

and there were sheep

2011-05-22T11:34:00.001-04:00

If you can imagine, I have more pictures of sheep than people.